I’d take a dose of him.

Every bank has a free checking account. All they need to do is let the bank know that’s the account they want.

A blonde was driving down the street and saw another blonde in a field in a row boat singing Row Row Row Your Boat. The blonde in the car gets so mad she pulls over, gets out of her car and screams YOU’RE THE REASON BLONDES HAVE A BAD REPUTATION AND IF I KNEW HOW TO SWIM, I’D SWIM OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!”

So long and thanks for all the fish.

I wish this had shown the entire original picture; she has the biggest smile on her face.

My Boston got the roof of my mouth once while I was laughing at him licking me. Needless to say, I laugh with my mouth closed when he’s near my face now. He got the back of my husbands front teeth once. He’s also stuck his tongue in my 6 year old daughters nose.

Too bad leap day screwed this up.

This is exactly like having two or more kids. Lol!

This will never not be funny.

This turned me on way more than it should have.

Anything can be a sex toy if you’re brave enough.

We call those Spider Friends at my house.

Can I upgrade it to a large? Or even extra large?

When it’s the size of a pinky, it does.

My eyes are sweating.

How tf does that last raccoon have perfect teeth??????

My oldest used to call eyebrows “brush isles” and I never corrected her. It was too cute. They still call asparagus “spagaragus”. Lol.

Could someone please tell me what this is from?

Or maybe he already had them and didn’t want duplicates.

He looks so pissed. Like “who left this baby in here???!!”

This should be a mandatory alert that comes up on every phone whenever anyone walks into a public place.

Anyone else think it said vagina creeper at first?