PumpkinPatch

dan_and_phil_fan


I'm just a loser. You can ignore me.

— PumpkinPatch Report User
Yes please 11 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Jokes on you, my phone is your boyfriend
Yes please 11 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Joke is on you, I am my boyfriend's phone
Edit: that wasn't as intended
2 · Edited 15 weeks ago
Good. 29 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
I hope so. Those children deserve better homes
9
has science gone too far?? 2 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Nope. Just far enough.
3
A man who can do this 5 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
I'm gonna hope that's special FX
2
Bee fact 20 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
That's how I want to go.
1
Dude, your mom was interesting 4 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
You know what that's to satisfy, right?
A BIG hunger!!
14
Dad keeps it interesting 14 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Or it really didn't matter... so he lost a leg, big deal
13
Lawd help me 3 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Wen you stub your *toad on something
Haha, get it?
4
Is this what you want FunSubstance 16 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
How'd you know that was my kink? ;)
...Kidding
1
when there is an irony 2 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Hence the title....
7
Good use for the cat 3 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
Until it bolts and you have to clean up your dinner.
4
WLTH 104: so many ways to define yourself as stupid 32 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 15 weeks ago
There's nothing about a large Pepsi from the service station. Nobody understands my gender.
:(
2
Asking the real questions 7 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
But breast implants are normally silicone...
10
Here's my face lads. 71 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
You're so precious!!
3
I'm like, "why?" 3 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
My school does a 'drama camp' every summer for a week and every year I help, and there was this 8 year old last year who insisted on slapping my butt every time I passed him. 0.o
Let's create a list of the best pick-up lines! 46 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
Oh you're in bed? Mind if I Slytherin?
5
f*cking. Unicorn. Frappuccinno 38 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
Whether this story is real or not, the what the lady (who broke the phone) did was illegal.
17
Good guy Ed 8 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who noticed.
Edit: after looking at this picture for a while, I think it's the placement of his eyebrows as well as his eye-shape, but I don't know.
2 · Edited 16 weeks ago
Most beautiful way to say goodbye 14 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
Kind of sounds dangerous.... but whatever floats your goat
What's the worst thing you've accidentally texted to your crush? 15 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
See... my crush and my best friend have similar names in my phone so the weirdest thing is
'Can I be a Weasley?' And before I could notice it was him I was talking to, I said 'What about Horatio Caine? Can Horatio Caine be a Weasley?'
8
Poor tired doggo 3 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
My German Shepherd actually lies down while eating from her food bowl... I have some lazy puppers
6
I change my hair a lot. 16 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
Thank you so much :)
2
Inverted watermelon 7 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
I would too. It kinda looks cool.
2
Italian baptism 1 comments
dan_and_phil_fan · 16 weeks ago
Yes, I remember my marinara baptism well. I was especially excited when it was over as they dried me with a towel weaved from spaghetti noodles. I also recall quite vividly the priest shouting 'Amo la pasta' before he put me in mother's arms once more.
2