Pop t'art.

Running in the rain is fun, especially in the summer! Think of it as free sweat.

Yeah if you want something badly enough to beg for it for 4 years and your spouse withholds it... maybe she doesn't love you

I smell child abuse

It will deteriorate over time anyway, that's how lithium ion batteries' lifespans work...

I'm a fully grown adult man, who lives in Alabama ironically, and someone who breaks into my house is getting shot. This kid deserves a medal

Also, this would be a hell of a lesbian fanfic

I should very much like to... how do I say this poetically... bury my head in Liv Tyler's bosom while I erupt like Mount Doom into her Shelob's tunnel.

I can kill every type of cancer. Put cancer cells in a petri dish, then let me blast it at point-blank with a #00 buckshot load from my 12-gauge shotgun. Boom, it's dead.
Oh, killing it WITHOUT harming the host? That's where it gets tricky...

He wasn't a soldier, he was a Navy SEAL.

Man, "apocalyptic crisis" and "regular Chinese day" sure are drawn pretty close together

Man, it's almost like for-profit companies want to provide an incentive to ensure that they receive the revenue they survive on in a timely manner!

Dude I saw the sun today, and I had the sudden realization that its shape is the SAME circle as the circle in my car tires and MAN that's deep.

She went from a 4 to a 10, and he shaved. Quite a difference

Ooh, ya heartless bastard, that's probably why he died!

I'll noot inside o' ye ;)

"Give us the halfling, she-elf."

Yeah, definitely 'nuff said... issue totally resolved. I'll replace my 12 gauge with a can of Nestlé so that if my house in the Alabama ghetto gets invaded, I'll be ready.
</sarcasm >

Her name is Andrea Rincon, in case anyone is curious ;)

Yup, gonna send my landlord that $85 for rent and see what he thinks...