Australian animals are built to kill

Oh.

I've been to Australia once, can confirm totally real and not fake and not actually a secret government mutant animal super solider program.... 100% real

Oh yeah. I live in Australia. Nothing to see in the middle of the country. Nothing to see at all. Complete waste of time. Don't go there. You might not come back.
You will not come back.

Also never look at the hooded figure that stalk around ever corner..... they're not really there. Seriously, don't look

It was a translation mistake, actually "outback" was supposed to be called "back out" because that's were they want you to go

Do not go to the dog park, the dog park is not for dogs

Please do not approach the hooded figures entering the dog park.
In other news, the vague yet menacing government agency wants to make an announcement. "Australia is just a myth" they said simultaneously, hissing, spit flying out of their collective mouths "If someone says they are from Australia, report it by speaking out loud into the various speakers installed inside your house".

Also remember angels are real now for some reason and their name is Erica