Also when someone doesn't text me anymore, I'll assume there's a good reason for it (hospital, phone stolen, realized he already has a girlfriend) so I'll just wait and hope for an explanation afterwards.
If they are willing to plat games and completely sever all ties over it rather than discussing it like a grown ass adult, yes, they are a drama queen and good riddance.
it was literarly TOW fucking WEEKs they even knew each other. even if he had to initiate the conversation every single time in these two weeks that means absolutely nothing! maybe he just happened to have more free time, maybe the other person just had two busy weeks or whatever, point is, you don't judge people based on a two week snapchat experience and you definitelly don't break all ties with someone you suppossedly are interested it without even having a discussion. fucking idiots do that, not grown men. christ.
You do realize there was a week of where no communication was had, which makes it three weeks, right? How long does it take for someone to send a message even simply saying "Hello. Sorry, I am kinda busy. I will message you when I can"?
Chill out Novelus :)
Or get a real life and you'll realise that yes, sometimes a week can be busy as hell and no, texting your Tinder match is not really a priority. Lindsmolinari said it all.
The dude in that story did act as a drama queen by sending this message : he was not expecting any answer or explanation, he just wanted the message to be frustrating, as he cowardly deleted her after sending it. This kind of people are just toxic.
Again the phone works both ways l, people get busy. if she liked him she would have sent a text saying anything. What he did wasnt wrong or being a drama queen.
What the guy did was fine because he was prioritising. If he always has to initiate the conversation then it shows the other person isn't really interested enough and he would just be wasting his time. He wasn't talking to a friend he was looking for a relationship. And he was nice enough to not just block her, but he let her know why so she at least has closure and she can learn from the experience.
[sarcasm]Yes, don't you know people love to get clingy GF/BF ? How nice of him to give her a lesson, then deleting her. So brave and mature, he was trully altruistic here. [/sarcasm]
We don't have much details in that one-perspective story, so I'll try not to over interpret what happened, but with the given information, to me it sounds like 1) she was fond of him (either he didn't realise it or she wasn't clear enough - whatever) and 2) he wanted all her attention and would not tolerate any lack, since he did not offer her at least a chance to explain herself. My opinion is : he was not as great as she thought, and it's too late to do anything about that, so : don't be sad or angry, better think "good riddance".
:)
So i can agree with your first point, but the second point you were trying to make is a bit of a stretch. Saying that he wanted all her of attention is kinda bull shit because he didnt constantly message her during that week im assuming. She had 7 days that she could have messaged him. So in my opinion she played herself because she was waiting for him to message her.
Ok, perhaps he didn't want all her attention, you're right.
Still, it is childish to send that kind of message and block any possible conversation. It is neither constructive or kind or useful. It's just pointless, immature and frustrating because she can't explain herself.
Perhaps she had a busy week, perhaps she is an attention-whore, perhaps she is shy, perhaps she knows she is clingy and tried not to be... there may be tons of reasons.
He could have just continue to ignore her and go date / chat with someone else. The point is : instead of just ignore her silence and living his own life, he sent her this message because he was pissed off by her silence and he probably wanted to piss off her too. That is why I'm still convinced he has a high "drama queen" material.
But what afraid me the most is how many people seem to agree with such a behaviour.
The reason so many people agree with his behaviour is because they've been on the receiving end of this. Led on by people who don't care enough to even initiate a conversation.
Personally I had many friendships that ended because I was always the one to initiate any form of contact so I can relate to this.
I'm not sure if you're the kind of person who often ignores others and maybe thats why you feel his actions unjustifiable or if you've never actually experienced this. But to anyone who has been in similar situations his actions are perfectly reasonable. They would feel it better having ended it soon rather than waste a large amount of their life.
Your preferable set of actions for him to take aren't viable because most people won't date somebody whist tying to woo someone else. It's good that he gave things an official end which is better for both of them. It was clear that he liked her which is why he sent her a message instead of ignoring her and moving on.
@kirlika
I have a real life, thank you. It involves raising a 4 month old daughter while packing to move and working a full time job. Yet, even with being super busy, I still have time to make sure that if my wife and I are not in the same place, that I take a moment out of my day to send a quick message. So tell me again how a person is wrong for wanting the other party to initiate a conversation.
1/2 @Novelus : 1st of all, I wanted to apologise for attacking you, it was not nice. 2nd : I hope you see the difference between doing an effort to text your wife and the mother of your child despite your busy schedule, and not texting some random dude you met online 3 weeks ago. :) That is why I still think he overreacted.
@King_me : again, you talk about long-term relationships, not some dude met not even a month ago. Let's imagine you meet someone nice on an online game : for 2 weeks, you two play together and then, for a week you don't see him/her connected. Would you also send such a message ? I would not, because it's no big deal. And don't say it is not the same because they were clearly looking for a GF/BF : 3 weeks are not a relationship. If he had known her for months, dated her and other stuff, ok, I would totally understand this answer.
2/2 : regarding long-term relationships, I've experienced both sides : some people I was friend with turned their back to me, and I also turned my back to some friends. In both situations, there were angry messages from ever sides. My conclusion? It's incredibly pointless and you won't feel any better after that : unless people ask you the question, they don't want to know why the relationship is going badly, especially if you tell them it's because of their behaviour.
I realised it is much easier to accept your friends the way they are and enjoy what they do for you, rather than expecting them to be different and only notice what they don't do for you.
Most of my besties I know for 2 decades live far away. We don't text that much, but I know we still have a deep bond. I don't care if I'm the one who initiate the conversation or if they are : it's always a pleasure to talk to them anyway. Friendships should be effortless. Even marriages :) (happily married for 10 years).
At the beginning of friendships, it is never effortless. It takes effort to begin and maintain a new friendship. Before I got with my wife, we were aleays busy. We always found a way to call or text for a few minutes a day. Without any effort, we would not be where we are now.
It was not an effort since you wanted to do so. :) When I say "effortless", I mean we should never feel constrained to do something to build a good relationship, or it will be unnatural. That's why there are so many toxic or unhappy friendships : because most ppl think they HAVE TO do something and they EXPECT an equal treatment in return (exactly like those "nice guys" who expect to get laid for being nice). I used to feel that way too, until I realised that if I don't expect any "reward", I'm free to be kind or not. Most of the time I'm rather helpful (like, helping to move out, paint walls, fix computers...), but I don't expect anything from my acquaintances. Maybe they'll be nice in return and that's how we'll both build a new friendship. Maybe they won't and since I don't care, I might still be helpful because I like to be, or I can also ignore them because I don't owe them anything. That's how I grew many natural friendships only with natural stuff :p
the girl could have just send a text instead waiting a whole week without doing anything. if you're interested in someone and he don't start a conversation.. you should do that. and if it's just to ask if everything is ok.
dude some people actually have shit to do in their lives?? and online chatting with a near stranger somehow doesn't come up as a priority for several consecutive days sometimes?? like sometimes i spent 12+ hours at uni and prioritize eating and sleeping over some flirting, y'know. it's not like they didn't talk for several months or something .christ.
Or get a real life and you'll realise that yes, sometimes a week can be busy as hell and no, texting your Tinder match is not really a priority. Lindsmolinari said it all.
The dude in that story did act as a drama queen by sending this message : he was not expecting any answer or explanation, he just wanted the message to be frustrating, as he cowardly deleted her after sending it. This kind of people are just toxic.
We don't have much details in that one-perspective story, so I'll try not to over interpret what happened, but with the given information, to me it sounds like 1) she was fond of him (either he didn't realise it or she wasn't clear enough - whatever) and 2) he wanted all her attention and would not tolerate any lack, since he did not offer her at least a chance to explain herself. My opinion is : he was not as great as she thought, and it's too late to do anything about that, so : don't be sad or angry, better think "good riddance".
:)
Still, it is childish to send that kind of message and block any possible conversation. It is neither constructive or kind or useful. It's just pointless, immature and frustrating because she can't explain herself.
Perhaps she had a busy week, perhaps she is an attention-whore, perhaps she is shy, perhaps she knows she is clingy and tried not to be... there may be tons of reasons.
He could have just continue to ignore her and go date / chat with someone else. The point is : instead of just ignore her silence and living his own life, he sent her this message because he was pissed off by her silence and he probably wanted to piss off her too. That is why I'm still convinced he has a high "drama queen" material.
But what afraid me the most is how many people seem to agree with such a behaviour.
Personally I had many friendships that ended because I was always the one to initiate any form of contact so I can relate to this.
I'm not sure if you're the kind of person who often ignores others and maybe thats why you feel his actions unjustifiable or if you've never actually experienced this. But to anyone who has been in similar situations his actions are perfectly reasonable. They would feel it better having ended it soon rather than waste a large amount of their life.
Your preferable set of actions for him to take aren't viable because most people won't date somebody whist tying to woo someone else. It's good that he gave things an official end which is better for both of them. It was clear that he liked her which is why he sent her a message instead of ignoring her and moving on.
I have a real life, thank you. It involves raising a 4 month old daughter while packing to move and working a full time job. Yet, even with being super busy, I still have time to make sure that if my wife and I are not in the same place, that I take a moment out of my day to send a quick message. So tell me again how a person is wrong for wanting the other party to initiate a conversation.
@King_me : again, you talk about long-term relationships, not some dude met not even a month ago. Let's imagine you meet someone nice on an online game : for 2 weeks, you two play together and then, for a week you don't see him/her connected. Would you also send such a message ? I would not, because it's no big deal. And don't say it is not the same because they were clearly looking for a GF/BF : 3 weeks are not a relationship. If he had known her for months, dated her and other stuff, ok, I would totally understand this answer.
I realised it is much easier to accept your friends the way they are and enjoy what they do for you, rather than expecting them to be different and only notice what they don't do for you.
Most of my besties I know for 2 decades live far away. We don't text that much, but I know we still have a deep bond. I don't care if I'm the one who initiate the conversation or if they are : it's always a pleasure to talk to them anyway. Friendships should be effortless. Even marriages :) (happily married for 10 years).