What the fuck is up with the title? How do we know she's a "friendzoner" (god, that's a terrible way to describe someone, isn't it)? And she's not complaining about getting "friendzoned", quite the opposite. She's complaining that she's not even able to be a friend. It says something that you saw this tweet and thought that, instead of a someone complaining about a friend being in a toxic relationship.
in one of my previous relationships, i was uncomfortable of my at the time boyfriends best friend-- but let me tell you about this best friend. He would regularly go on anger tirades, threaten to kill himself or kill others, was ungodly violent both physically and mentally, self diagnosed himself with psychosis, autism (which he had been tested for but it came up negative, go figure) and a whole other skew of mental illnesses that at the time were trendy on tumblr, had told me to kill myself when i was going through some tough times, and "kinfirmed" a bunch of fictional characters (which i find just flat out cringey). sometimes the friend is the problem, not the girlfriend.
"If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. That doesn't work either. Because what happens then is the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with, like it means something is missing from the relationship and wanted to go outside to get it. Then when you say, 'No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,' the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are - I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it - which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends. So where does it leave us?"
In all seriousness though, based solely on the information provided and working under the assumption that the friendship in question is more or less normal (not toxic or overly familiar), this is insanely unfair of the new girlfriend to ask.
She's blatantly saying she doesn't trust the boyfriend, is making that issue HIS fault, and forcing him and his friend to suffer the consequences. The boyfriend still has the chance they might be getting sex out of it as a consolation, however. The friend just gets the shaft. And I've seen it happen regardless of the gender of involved parties.
Unless there's a valid reason to dislike the person your SO is friends with, people shouldn't try and force their insecurities on them. If it makes you that uncomfortable for no good reason, this is clearly NOT the relationship for you. If you ARE uncomfortable, why not try talking it out a bit first and seeing if you can pinpoint why you're uncomfortable, and how to resolve it in a less extreme manner.
The idea men and women can't be friends is so fucking stupid. I'm very good friend with people of both status. Plus this sorta idea is born of the idea they will eventually wanna fuck or date and by that logic bisexual people can't have friends.
@bethorien I was quoting the movie more to be sardonic than anything. Although, sadly, it has cropped up as an issue more often than I'd care for in my life where friends will decide they're attracted to me. Sometimes we work past it, sometimes we don't. And that's the way life goes. And whether they were attracted to me or not, eventually even really good friends do go and find themselves a significant other. None of this is a problem until the friend either just limits the interaction more or less entirely, to the point we barely even talk, or, if they do not, their new partner throws a hissy fit, and suddenly it's world war III all over again.
At that point at least part of the quote becomes frustratingly relevant.
Clearly men and women can be friends, and this issue is not just applicable to opposite gender situations, or gay people would never have these problems, and people would always love their Significant Others' same gendered friends.
It's really an issue of personality and culture. I've never had a friend distance from having a significant other and I have rarely had anyone's SO complain about me being friends with their boyfriend/girlfriend and that's usually only been controlling motherfuckers who should be allowed to date anyone till they fix themselves.
Questions/thoughts I have:
1. Did his girlfriend just tell him she was uncomfortable or did she actually ask him to stop hanging out with his best friend?
2. It seems like the girl's blaming the girlfriend for what her friend's doing, instead of her friend. He has the freedom to make his own choices and he's choosing to skip out on their friendship for someone else which doesn't sound like a good friend to me.
3. I feel iffy about the girl posting this though because I don't think people should throw all that out there and if anything it'd just push her friend away more because she's ragging on his girlfriend.
4. Basically I think there are no winners here because it sounds like everyone sucks.
5. Alternate theory: maybe the guy didn't want to be her friend anymore and tried to make it less awkward for himself by pinning what he was doing on his girlfriend. Kind of like how when I didn't want to socialize I'd say that I had to do chores otherwise my parents would get mad at me.
no, she need to stop being a bitch and think the world revolves around her. The guy can make his own decisions. If my best guy friend want to choose his girl over me I would respect that
She's blatantly saying she doesn't trust the boyfriend, is making that issue HIS fault, and forcing him and his friend to suffer the consequences. The boyfriend still has the chance they might be getting sex out of it as a consolation, however. The friend just gets the shaft. And I've seen it happen regardless of the gender of involved parties.
Unless there's a valid reason to dislike the person your SO is friends with, people shouldn't try and force their insecurities on them. If it makes you that uncomfortable for no good reason, this is clearly NOT the relationship for you. If you ARE uncomfortable, why not try talking it out a bit first and seeing if you can pinpoint why you're uncomfortable, and how to resolve it in a less extreme manner.
At that point at least part of the quote becomes frustratingly relevant.
Clearly men and women can be friends, and this issue is not just applicable to opposite gender situations, or gay people would never have these problems, and people would always love their Significant Others' same gendered friends.
1. Did his girlfriend just tell him she was uncomfortable or did she actually ask him to stop hanging out with his best friend?
2. It seems like the girl's blaming the girlfriend for what her friend's doing, instead of her friend. He has the freedom to make his own choices and he's choosing to skip out on their friendship for someone else which doesn't sound like a good friend to me.
3. I feel iffy about the girl posting this though because I don't think people should throw all that out there and if anything it'd just push her friend away more because she's ragging on his girlfriend.
4. Basically I think there are no winners here because it sounds like everyone sucks.
5. Alternate theory: maybe the guy didn't want to be her friend anymore and tried to make it less awkward for himself by pinning what he was doing on his girlfriend. Kind of like how when I didn't want to socialize I'd say that I had to do chores otherwise my parents would get mad at me.