The only thing you should do

Bet he won't be texting your bitch ass either

DON'T try to turn those on, or even plug them in to power. Remove the battery pack from the controller and set the pack aside. Remove the hard drive from the console. Spend a good amount of time gently shaking all the excess water from everything. Wrap the three units (not the battery pack) in towels and put them in the oven. Bake them at 120°C/250°F for maybe a half hour. Check them to make sure the plastic is not tacky. Remove the hard drive from the oven. Let the other two items bake another hour+, checking the plastic periodically; if it's tacky, remove the item and reduce the heat. Let them cool overnight. No joy? Take them to a shop and let them disassemble everything, foil the plastic, and hit the circuit boards with isopropyl alcohol and a heat gun. Then dump the horrible human who addresses their insecurities like this.

Do stuff like peel all their bananas or bake them food with salt instead of sugar. Be petty not an arse.

Why do I get the feeling she has a subscription to cosmo

How does she mistype "psycho" in her @

It would be unfortunate if she accidentally drowned while she was doing that. Especially if she dropped a hair dryer in the tub. Just sayin'

I think the only reasonable response is to peel her skin off