I’m going to disagree. I don’t see anything wrong with tipping. COMPULSORY tipping is wrong in my opinion.
If you WANT to give someone doing you a service a little extra to show your appreciation or especially for a job well done or above and beyond- I think that’s great.
Being required to tip is not something I support, and expecting tips is entitled and repugnant to me- unless you did go above and beyond. If a hotel staff member does something not in their job duties or reasonable expectations or you put extra burden on them- a family of 6 makes a larger mess generally in the same sized room and requires more work than 1-2 guests, if you brought your personal weights with you and the bellhop has to carry 400+ lbs of luggage, if the front desk person helps cover for you when your boss calls or whatever- those things I think it’s fair to anticipate a person tipping you and I think most decent people would.
Doing your job does not generally warrant a tip. Doing the bare minimums or the exact things they pay you a check to do to the basic standards range expected doesn’t warrant a tip inherently generally. I do not think you should ever be required to tip poor service- though in fairness you do need to think a bit- your food taking forever to get to your table is likely not the waiters fault. Your order being wrong may or may not be their fault, and slow or forgetful service- well… if the place is packed or there are things going on then you must consider that for the circumstances and what they are juggling that seemingly poor service may actually be excellent and show a lot of extra effort. Ultimately though tipping should be discretional if at all.
Outside of circumstances like the above I don’t support expecting tips or being sour when people don’t give tips. I don’t support statements like “if you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford to eat out.” No. They totally can. They did. They just didn’t tip. And the thing is.. duh. Maybe they can just barely afford it. Maybe this is this persons luxury. You don’t know their life. Someone not leaving a tip at some flap jack shack like an Applebees- hell- no offense but someone who’s idea of a “night out” or a “treat” is mid to low priced chain dining- they probably make about as much or less than the server. So this “boo hoo I cant live on my Pay check and these fat cats should tip…” buster, a lot of those fat cats have it as bad or worse than you do financially.
Pun intended- more food for thought- do you shop on Amazon? Go to Walmart? The dollar store? Guess what? A lot of or most of these “penny pinching” places so many people love or feel economically compelled to shop at? They are directly responsible for taking jobs and lowering wages in multiple sectors. You buy that thing you want on Amazon because it’s $10 cheaper or whatever than the local store- but that guy could say: “if you can’t afford to shop local you can’t afford to buy that..” because you cut out his markup- effectively his “tips” because if he sells at Amazon prices he can’t afford to live on his paycheck right? So how are you any better? You can claim as a service worker that you only go out if you can tip and always tip- but so what? There are other ways that you skimp where you can instead of paying higher prices to working people so they can have a decent wage.
You’re no better than someone that doesn’t tip- possibly worse. So guests should put themselves in the servers shoes and be understanding and compassionate to circumstances as well as give grace that there could be things they don’t know about that impact their service and tip as able and accordingly to the services- but a lot of service workers and supporters need to chill and also be more understanding and
Give some grace to customers. You don’t know their life story. That kid on the date could be stretching all he has just to take this girl to burger shack and is counting every penny and sweating wether after this date he’ll eat again this week but he is in love. That old couple looking fancy could be a fixed income pair going through rough times.
Let’s keep things in a place where tips are nice. Tips are supposed to make you feel good. Sometimes your partner might do something nice for you or maybe that “special thing you like in bed,” but does that mean you should expect it? If they do it once when you do something sweet that really touches them do they have to do it every time? Don’t expect it. Tips are nice but the job pays what the job pays. Appreciate tips but don’t expect them or think everyone who doesn’t tip is a jerk or didn’t like you.
I don’t know if you’ve worked in a foodservice job that is tipped, but many of these servers are not paid otherwise. And while I agree that the establishment should be responsible for paying their staff, that’s not the way it is. So, no, tipping is not just a nice extra that shouldn’t be expected. It’s how these people pay their bills and feed their families.
In my state tipped employee minimum wage is $2.13 an hour. I remember that most pay periods that didn’t cover my taxes. My take home was almost entirely from tips.
What should be doesn’t matter. We are faced with what is. If you dine in a restaurant with tipped workers, and don’t leave a tip you, are expecting that person to volunteer their time for you.
I’ve never done food service. The pay is generally shit and the work sucks so I picked other jobs, for most of my youth most of them also sucking and having shit pay but generally better pay with some sort of possible path to actual money.
This will be relatively short and plain and I understand completely that people have circumstances etc. so it will sound cruel but is just matter of fact.
Employment is a contract. I do not expect a worker to donate time. I expect them to do exactly what they signed up and agreed to do. I’ve hand weeded 10 acres in high desert heat and moved half a ton of rocks I had to dig out of the ground to prevent horses from stepping on them for $20 before. I agreed to the job, I agreed to $20. I had no idea what the job entailed and Oopsie on me for agreeing to take $20 for a job worth more, but I needed the $20 so at the time I was happy with it even if more would have been nice and the lay felt unfair.
The way it should be is that everyone should be guaranteed a minimum standard of living including a place to live and a decent diet. As you say- that’s not the way it is and we live in what is. What is, is that it is not a customers responsibility to sublet your circumstances or choices. Their contract is to come and eat, yours is to come and work, the managements is to come and pay you what was agreed and provide the promised experience to guests. That is what is.
For the record, I tip and average of 40-200% in most service scenarios as I have been so poor I lived in a tent and ate things caught in the woods to survive. When I ate. Now I am not so poor, and I have money to tip and so I do.
However, were I still poor and were I to find myself able to enjoy a sit down meal, a thing that has in my life brought me to tears, and some waiter gave me shit because I didn’t leave a tip, I’d be in jail instead of going around big tipping because they are called “your problems” because they are “Your problems.” Everyone else has their own problems. It is natural that to each of us that our own problems tend to be most important. That said, the hypocrisy of asking others to be mindful and cater to your problems while refusing to acknowledge theirs is one of the things I disdain in compulsory tipping discourse.
People need to pick a lane. It’s either everyone cares about their own problems or let’s try to be understanding, but I do not cater to “fuck your problems, but coddle me.”
If you WANT to give someone doing you a service a little extra to show your appreciation or especially for a job well done or above and beyond- I think that’s great.
Being required to tip is not something I support, and expecting tips is entitled and repugnant to me- unless you did go above and beyond. If a hotel staff member does something not in their job duties or reasonable expectations or you put extra burden on them- a family of 6 makes a larger mess generally in the same sized room and requires more work than 1-2 guests, if you brought your personal weights with you and the bellhop has to carry 400+ lbs of luggage, if the front desk person helps cover for you when your boss calls or whatever- those things I think it’s fair to anticipate a person tipping you and I think most decent people would.
Give some grace to customers. You don’t know their life story. That kid on the date could be stretching all he has just to take this girl to burger shack and is counting every penny and sweating wether after this date he’ll eat again this week but he is in love. That old couple looking fancy could be a fixed income pair going through rough times.
In my state tipped employee minimum wage is $2.13 an hour. I remember that most pay periods that didn’t cover my taxes. My take home was almost entirely from tips.
What should be doesn’t matter. We are faced with what is. If you dine in a restaurant with tipped workers, and don’t leave a tip you, are expecting that person to volunteer their time for you.
This will be relatively short and plain and I understand completely that people have circumstances etc. so it will sound cruel but is just matter of fact.
Employment is a contract. I do not expect a worker to donate time. I expect them to do exactly what they signed up and agreed to do. I’ve hand weeded 10 acres in high desert heat and moved half a ton of rocks I had to dig out of the ground to prevent horses from stepping on them for $20 before. I agreed to the job, I agreed to $20. I had no idea what the job entailed and Oopsie on me for agreeing to take $20 for a job worth more, but I needed the $20 so at the time I was happy with it even if more would have been nice and the lay felt unfair.
For the record, I tip and average of 40-200% in most service scenarios as I have been so poor I lived in a tent and ate things caught in the woods to survive. When I ate. Now I am not so poor, and I have money to tip and so I do.
People need to pick a lane. It’s either everyone cares about their own problems or let’s try to be understanding, but I do not cater to “fuck your problems, but coddle me.”