Things that happen in Australia

I think you mean "justification for homicide". Anyone who tells me to "have a happy period" is going to end the day in a pool of their own blood—unfortunately for them, there is no level of absorbency that will help them, either.

you could bend over and sneeze and drown them in your own blood instead, can put it down to an unfortunate accident

I like the way you think!

They are called Libra pads.