When my girlfriend suddenly changes her relationship status to single

That escalated quickly.

Why did you destroy your computer?! How will you get your daily dose of FunSubstance?!

This is me whenever I read a stupid post written by a stupid 12 year old

The shot to the head may have been a bit too far

Why didn't he go to her place and do this to her computer instead?

Shame dude! :(

Was that a good thing or a bad one?

This is when you rip that shit out into the open. Keep a twitter thread open about this shit. Boundaries are for people who aren't pissed off. Let everyone listen to your troubles, and watch their exasperation evolve into contempt. Believe that you are hurting your significant other more than yourself. Never quite get over the breakup. End up alone, afraid of commitment. FunSubstance becomes a hollow shell, a ritual that you perform to keep away from the pain and regret.