granlobomalo

granlobomalo


"All the better to eat you with, my dear."

— granlobomalo Report User
Oh the joy of growing up 5 comments
granlobomalo · 8 minutes ago
@bethorien Many ‘psycho killers’ in the stories of your childhood were not all who they seemed to be. Maleficent reacted out of egregious inhospitality by the other fairies. Frankenstein’s Monster was accused of a murder that he didn’t commit. And depending on whose version you believe, Snow White’s queen cut out the heart of a vampire ‘with lips as red as blood and skin as white as snow.’ History - aka His Story - is written by the so-called ‘winners’. But we underdogs, or shall I say underwolves, oftentimes have a much different interpretation of events to share with the world. My only hope is that someone actually listens to our side of the story.
· Edited 1 minute ago
Oh the joy of growing up 5 comments
granlobomalo · 2 hours ago
That little piggy went to the market because I blew his house down - but his darned brother in the brick house got to his body before I could. Now ask yourself who’s the real bad guy. The natural predator acting in perfect accordance with the Circle of Life? Or the ‘@grancerdomalo’ (i.e., Big Bad Pig) who sells his brother’s dead body for cash? Deep down inside, I think you know the real answer to this one...
1 · Edited 2 hours ago
Why are we not all doing this already? 4 comments
granlobomalo · 2 hours ago
Because people would hook up some kind of automatic piston pump from the toilet to the fountain along with a hidden camera solely for the ‘We Made People Drink Shit Filled Toilet Water!!! And They Loved It!!!’ likes on YouTube.
· Edited 1 hour ago
Worst thing about vomit 6 comments
granlobomalo · 2 hours ago
No, the worst part about vomiting is the 30 minutes afterward where the liquor-infused stomach acid has burned your throat like it’s name was Joan of Arc and you’re lying on your bathroom floor debating whether or not you really need this job.
3 · Edited 2 hours ago
Mother puts her life on the line to protect her baby 4 comments
granlobomalo · 3 hours ago
And if she’s an expert in Mom Guilt, she’ll show those photos to her child when it misbehaves and say, ‘Do you see? Do you see what I’ve been through for you?’
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A Croatian language school advertisement 2 comments
granlobomalo · 3 hours ago
‘Learn English and you, too, can win the genetic lottery and be born good looking enough to model, maneuver your way to New York, get too old for the impossible-standard modeling business at 26, start looking for a wealthy husband because you have no practical skills other than your looks and passable English, marry a self-professed real estate magnate, give birth to a son who everyone accuses of being autistic which hurts you because people are attacking your not-even-teenaged child, stay with your husband through multiple public claims that he’s had affairs, get unexpectedly thrust into the limelight on a worldwide political stage, and have a media camera following your every word and move when all you wanted was to have a nice life as a woman of society in Manhattan.’ I mean, if that were your advertisement, staying monolingual would suddenly become much more appealing.
1 · Edited 1 hour ago
How to ride a motorcycle 5 comments
granlobomalo · 4 hours ago
Do you typically explode your exhaust box before or after your horn trumpet has been tooteled with vigor?
3
Salute the legend 4 comments
granlobomalo · 5 hours ago
Oh my goodness, I didn’t see the bottle and thought he was breastfeeding the third child.
8 · Edited 5 hours ago
Fail 5 comments
granlobomalo · 5 hours ago
I hate to go full kum-ba-ya but IMHO the studios made the right decision. I’m sure they did regret their decision but probably for the lost ratings (i.e., the lost advertising revenue) rather than over any concern about Roseanne’s fans’ feelings. Roseanne should be totally free to express conservative views. But I think that when you make religious or racial attacks, especially as someone in the public eye, then you should not be surprised when you have to pay very public consequences.
2
Just preparing for exams 6 comments
granlobomalo · 7 hours ago
@cycy: ‘For the record, there is no statute of limitations on reposting my memes.’
That Time of Year 2 comments
granlobomalo · 7 hours ago
Have Gram Grams put it in a pie, however, and you’ll have some tasty pumpkin throw up.
1
Man, f*ck Vice 10 comments
granlobomalo · 7 hours ago
Vice = Buzzfeed. Paradox resolved. Jokes aside, Vice used to be an edgy, provocative magazine. Then they kicked out one of the founders due to ‘creative differences’, Rupert Murdoch’s 21st Century Fox bought 5% of the company, and they expanded from a magazine into a full-fledged multimedia company. Fact of the matter is that Buzzfeed-type clickbait gets more eyeballs and the broader population wants to be entertained rather than enlightened. As a result, Vice gained the world - but lost its soul.
1
Man, f*ck Vice 10 comments
granlobomalo · 7 hours ago
Inner me is right though 7 comments
granlobomalo · 7 hours ago
*hears Inner Me and sinks deeper into faux depression*
2
Man, f*ck Vice 10 comments
granlobomalo · 7 hours ago
Definitely you if you agree that Waluigi should be in SSBU and that Deer Lives Matter.
· Edited 7 hours ago
Grape nuts are not food 5 comments
granlobomalo · 8 hours ago
*opens refrigerator* My dog may not be able to eat Grape Nuts but at least it doesn’t say anything about feeding him grapes. Come ‘ere, boy!
2
Q dolor q dolor q pena!!! 7 comments
granlobomalo · 8 hours ago
@porch_light ‘What a pain what a pain what a pity’. Q is qué (i.e., what) but is used the same way K is used for okay in English.
1 · Edited 2 hours ago
They were perfect 1 comments
granlobomalo · 8 hours ago
Shoutout to the guys who are clearly better at jumping than the girls in their own picture with their 2-inch verticals.
1 · Edited 8 hours ago
Can confirm 5 comments
granlobomalo · 8 hours ago
Very true that an intolerance may not kill you - but you might wish that you were dead when it happens.
4 · Edited 2 hours ago
Yes 2 comments
granlobomalo · 8 hours ago
‘Can I get you two anything? Some Gatorades? A coffee? Some fresh sheets so our lovely guest can spend the night?’
11
"greetings my friend!" *cuddle* 1 comments
granlobomalo · 3 days ago
I love seeing mixed couples get past the world’s hate to be together.
2
Pets are the cure to sadness 2 comments
granlobomalo · 3 days ago
Pet love works like a charm. Every time.
2
Shower tought of a someone elses shower tought 1 comments
granlobomalo · 3 days ago
If you don’t pay your Netflix account in combat, have you been dismembered?
If you lose your cell phone in combat, have you been immobilized?
If you lose your hat in combat, have you been incapacitated?
If you’re politically independent and lose your vision in combat, have you been neutralized?
If you can’t speak and show up to combat after it’s finished, have you been mutilated?
These are the questions that keep me up at night.
12 · Edited 3 days ago
Took me 5 minutes to figure it out 14 comments
granlobomalo · 3 days ago
I think we all did until you said something.
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Some hero's don't wear capes! 3 comments
granlobomalo · 3 days ago
Zina Portnova is the ‘bad bitch’ that rappers talk about.
1