Um, the purpose of shorts is to cover your butt.

Had they bothered to make her blonde for the Percy Jackson movie, she would have made an amazing Annabeth.

Aren't doctors supposed to kick the parent out of the room when it comes to questions about sexual and drug activity? You're not going to get truthful results with the parent still in the room.

"The fear that I'm nowhere near as smart as I think I am and that I'll end up being incompetent at my dream career as a result."

I honestly want to meet the person in charge of the We Rate Dogs twitter account because he/she is so witty and hilarious.

I like the idea of Ziplock on cereal bags, but it would only work best on large pieces of cereal (like Chex). Cereal with smaller pieces (like Cocoa Pebbles) could easily get stuck in the zipper system and jam it, especially when you're down to the crumbs.
Edit: I'm talking about traditional ziplock bags here; this problem would be much less likely to occur with the ziplock gliding mechanism.

I don't know the full context of this, but I wouldn't be surprised if everyone saw through the disguise and continued to play along with it.

Can we just appreciate how long it must have taken to write a love note on every piece of confetti? That's love and dedication.

That's some rock hard toothpaste you're using then. Liquid toothpaste may be a better term to use.

This reminds me of the time a zoo in China tried to pass off a dog as a lion, but then people noticed that it barked.

And of course it's a BMW...

Wow, the guy in the second panel is really dark! It provides a fascinating contrast between the woman's porcelain skin.