Eeewwwww. Dude, no

Magic Flanno.

You just broke your fucking dog

Let the bodies hit the flooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrr

Thanks Trump.. when there’s a crisis, offer paper products

I’m detecting some bullshit...

Crap, I left my purse in my car.. hang on I’ll just go grab it

We’re from Australia mate, there’s probably 20 , and 15 can kill you

How many ‘pastors’ have died trying to out-Jesus, jesus ?

Who’s a good girl !! Yes she is!!

Perhaps they’re meeting in the 4 corners of the Flatness?

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over.............

There’s been a quack-down in the neighbourhood

How do you know the candle didn’t just blow out ?? Checkmate Heathens!

If anyone was gonna do it, it would be a blue nuclear breath gigantosaurus, and he is SUPER keen for it

Is your cat to noisy ? Kitten mittens

Jrousers?

Simples

Cats are assholes man ..

It looks like it would bite your face off if you gave it no name cat crunchies ..

Mix it up , 3.45 am. Just for funsies

Good day to be a teacher

No Sweetie, not under your blankets!, that shit will never wash out ..

Seems weird she’s try to hide whatever the fuck is behind her hand, and not the hoarders paradise she’s got spilling over everywhere

When the wash baskets empty, or the dishwashers unpacked - tiny victories get you through the day