MatthewG

matthewg


36, M, CA.
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Single father of 2.

— MatthewG Report User
Now you can eat that ass 8 comments
matthewg · 3 hours ago
*Captain Picard voice*
I bet you thought I was serious.
.
.
.
Acting.
Now you can eat that ass 8 comments
matthewg · 9 hours ago
If only people spoke in response to being asked...
K... Mooooving on 11 comments
matthewg · 12 hours ago
You should've asked her if she's tried 71.
That's 69, with 2 fingers in your butt.
8
You're a handsome cactus 13 comments
matthewg · 12 hours ago
I doubt I'll be wondering what was wrong, honey.
I'm fully aware. ;)
1
You're a handsome cactus 13 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
His face is all pins 'n needle-y.
1
Tick tock pick that buttt!! 7 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
LOL Gross.
1
The first of these meme's I laughed at 2 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
Only he and a small group of '90's kids will know.
2
Who's that Pokémon? 10 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
Gotta grab 'em all!
2
This 10-year-old is creating a device to prevent infants from dying in hot cars 10 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
It's called a "rock", and it is used to brain the aforementioned child before they succumb to the heat without hurting your hand too much.
*cough* I mean it's for smashing windows.
1
Fitness watch 6 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
I guess you could say he needs to...
*sunglasses*
..."pump" up those numbers.
I found the one! 8 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
What dem hands do?
Sometimes a mothers encouragement is all it takes 2 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
Instead, I was a Narco, and became Escobar.
Tick tock pick that buttt!! 7 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
@kakaburra Hey, stranger...
Do you like this brown rose I made?
1
I am Leopard 5 comments
matthewg · 1 day ago
A babby is formed.
1
Better safe than sorry 9 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
*adjusts monacle*
Ready, Dearest!
1
Yes guys would 27 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
LOL You're bringing the chive into it?
Yes guys would 27 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
The FUCK you say about trees?
Trees are awesome!
Long exposure of helicopter landing 4 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
No.
They just played too many GTA games.
Chiiiiillll 3 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
Maybe chill with posting so much.
Quality over quantity.
Photographer shoots Formula 1 with a 104-year-old camera 7 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
@kakaburra @smitty That looks like F1 must feel.
1
Better safe than sorry 9 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
@kakaburra Fancy a jog in the rain?
1
That's just f*cked up 5 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
Well, that joke was just in poor taste.
Much like Ms. Grande (if that is her real name)'s vagina.
Cat attacked itself 3 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
Cate: "Harder, Daddy."
1
Good 2 comments
matthewg · 2 days ago
How does something like this get 1,200+ likes?