MatthewG

matthewg


38, Male, California USA
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Proud father of 2, with a long-distance Boo.

— MatthewG Report User
Then I guess we have failed as a species 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Her pantaloons just dropped.
1
Then I guess we have failed as a species 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Hard to know one's value when they're dead.
Long Exposure Photo of a Firework Launching 11 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Why did my brain instantly go to R-Type?
That's enough I guess 1 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
So, it's acceptable when Lord Dampnut spews bullshit?
Dolphins m*sturbate too 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Anything is a fleshlight if you're brave enough.
Come with me on a journey of merriment 13 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
OMG the guy banging his head to the Wii song.
Kinky dad 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
One might say the same thing about uninteresting people.
12
Female bird 5 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Female birb does male suitor birb a chastise.
2
He's not wrong 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
The only walls...are inside your mind.
1
Uncle mario wants you clean 4 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
2wholesome 4myskin
1
A friend just showed me this. I must say he's good at acting. 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Punchline at the beginning. What in interesting approach to comedy.
I hope everyone has learned what happens when you say "ECK-cetera". Things go downhill quickly, and rightfully so.
Its lit fam 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Ah, the Cradle of Civilization...
Lightsaber Popsicle maker 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
That's the most unusual nickname for one's genitals I've ever heard.
4
Everything looks good 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Going on tinder when you're horny
Is like putting your dick in a herpies-riddled blender.
1
Small ass ice cream cone 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
That's not what ice cream cones are for, mah d00d.
Impossible magic trick 4 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
So fake.
You mean to tell me that the entire audience is impressed by a spitter? ;)
Now you can eat that ass 18 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
"This cake tastes like shit."
3
Stay strong! 5 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
As heavyweight pugilist Tommy Ray Handley once said, "Float like an angel, Borf like teh doggo".
Kinky dad 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Nothing wrong with training in the morning.
2
Someone's at the door 11 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
It's nice to see Pokemon GO making a comeback.
1
Kinky dad 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
She wasn't telling him to stop last night...
And no. I already have one. ;)
4
Princess! Nooo! 7 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Like everyone does?
Where's the fun in THAT?!
1
Just when you think you have seen everything 6 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Zero Wing Rhapsody is far superiour.
Ain't this great 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
She has a nice hip.
Hella flush 9 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Just when you thought the "culture" was dead...
1