MatthewG

matthewg


38, Male, California USA
Currently employed as ER Tech.
Proud father of 2, with a long-distance Boo.

— MatthewG Report User
Terminator bee 37 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Well, being a white guy, I'm always a... *sunglasses*
...little behind.
1
How to chose an OS 11 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Seriously, though. Have most mac users not heard of a toothbrush?
How to chose an OS 11 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
I guess that's why they call it "Baby Batter"!
Terminator bee 37 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
What about reason #1: Teh loolz?
1
Terminator bee 37 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
An entire WEEK goes by, and nobody makes an "I'll BEE back." joke?
1
Cheetah wants some love too 17 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra Deluxe Hugz: $1
Never thought of it that way 4 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Do I sense a bit of NDT resentment?
Perfect either way 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra My love for you is like gluten intolerance diarrhea.
It never stops flowin'.
1
Wait a minute 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
"Guh-hilk!"
1
The fireman stood no chance 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra You light up my world. <3
1
When You Just Can't Find The Cone Of Shame 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
"Now is the styrofoam plate of our discontent. Made glorious summer by this sun of Blep".
2
Amtrak Train collides with a track full of snow 6 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
*opens arms*
Take me, cold white embrace of oblivion!
New species of derp found 1 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra Bless you, Deerest.
1
Beware of dog!!! 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra Beware of Friend.
1
Michael Cera is the perfect rapper 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Life Hack: Always have at least one white friend.
The cops hold their fire around white folks.
Gandalf the Grey 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Is it golden? Is it chips?
Gandalf the Grey 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
What's "taterz", precious? What's taterz, eh?
I don't care if I lose my star. It's ya boy Teddy Roosevelt!!! 2 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
And thanks to this post, Mexican Americans across the land began flying the stars 'n stripes on their Bounce Wagons' antennas, in the hopes of not having the cops called on them by Social Justice Warrior chakun.
Five years ago today at 5:32 UCT, we landed on Mars after 7 Minutes of Terror. 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
I have such a love/hate relationship with the Hollywood presentation of this sort of thing.
Neat post, though. Thanks, Smitty!
1
I have no self control 3 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra Tfw you just can't resist that sweet ghost D.
1
Now we have to find a horse sized duck 4 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
*grabs yo Momma*
"Hey, I found a horse-faced pig. Where's the Bingo square for that?"
1
Gandalf the Grey 12 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
@kakaburra Is it secret? Is it safe?
Stand strong my brothers and sisters 5 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
twitter coming through with the cutting edge comedy once again. /sarcasm
Grandma true desires 4 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
I'll gladly buy you that ticket for the private Space Tours for our Platinum Jubilee! #savethestemcells
Partners 8 comments
matthewg · 6 years ago
Sounds like Heat.
1