I don’t think I’ve ever seen an entire episode of Phineas and Ferb, but I still knew exactly what this was referencing

Yeah, but maybe if the people who ran those companies had to come back as bugs enough times, they might start to realize that it’s a bad plan

Ok, but are these the same people who told that senator that high school bathrooms now have litter boxes in them?

I used to have a pre-k student who would yell at the moon every time she saw it during the day. “Go away, moon! It’s morning!”

I was never rude to teachers and always hated when other kids were… with one exception. I had a teacher who constantly screamed viciously at his classes, but I had him the year admin told him he wasn’t allowed to yell at students anymore. And to my classmates who spent every day trying to test when he’d crack, thanks. It was absolutely hilarious.

I’m not sure it had occurred to me how true this was. Because I don’t know the last time I’ve heard someone use this word to describe this word to mean anything other than “so I really need everyone around me to stop being sad about their personal tragedies because it’s really bumming me out”

Reading this and going “Wait, but do I have internal dialogue? Oh…”

Because you turned 40! I assume that’s when parents stop saying that to their kids. It’s sure as hell not when you’re 18.

Because “My wife and I stood in a grocery store line silently ignoring each other for so long that the cashier thought we were strangers.” is less cute.

Deep down? My coworkers and I roll in every day and say “I’m skipping tomorrow!” “I think I’ll be ill soon!” “Would anyone like to casually organize a strike??” And then we don’t do any of those things

You make no money. You have never once paid rent. You do not get to determine where you should be allowed.

My grandma’s (absolute godsend) memory care place had the slogan “Join their Journey”. It was all about meeting them where they were and letting them live rich, fun lives, regardless of if the details of those lives were entirely current.

My favorite moment working elementary car line was when a kindergartner yelled at his mom “I just don’t understand why you had to sign me up for school!”

I know his son Henry’s band!! They’re called THUMP now and they’re the kind of weird that makes me not so surprised that one of them has this guy for a dad.

Because I live in a state with less than a 40% vaccination rate and I’m convinced everyone who’s not a wearing a mask is just pretending they’ve been vaccinated and I don’t want people to think that about me. But that’s just me and my panic brain talking.

As long as you realize this argument is “things are expensive, why not steal stuff instead?”

Excuse me while I gender stereotype, but this seems like the most boy thing ever. As a girl I just can’t imagine that:
1. You didn’t notice the difference between cats. Even from the pic I can tell 2 have beige faces with brown noses, 1 has a brown face and a beige nose, and one has a totally brown face. How did you consistently miss this for 5 years
2. You hung out at this dude’s house for 5 years and NEVER ASKED HIS WHAT HIS CAT’S NAME WAS?

Who just leaves an uncover salad sitting in the fridge?