He isn't wrong; I've seen girls mentioning another girl wearing a sweater for the second time in three weeks, like the sweater girl was poor or something. It was a cute sweater.

"You've just won a free cru-"
"MY CALLER ID PREPARED ME FOR THIS"

God bless Pornhub

My mom used to work in childcare; when she's excited she says "potty" and "chu-chu train"

"He commanded them to come outside, and they obeyed without a murmur" Damn..

My cat takes socks but doesn't hoard them, he leaves them around on the floor

The FBI caught the 5 of them smoking an hour later

That pun deserves it's own grave

Benjamin Cockler, yes

When it's that time of the month, 30 seconds apart

Factoring isn't that bad

Dammit Sweden

The Zodiac Musician

I'm not giving wasps anything

"Good morning, neighbors!"
[ SCREAMING ]

So much text on one image