purplepumpkin
I'm almost always on the internet, and when I'm not I'm either reading, writing or serving my furry master (the one pictured, I'm not THAT weird).
— PurplePumpkin Report User
As seen on TV 6 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
And how the bottles take a plit second to wake up and attack.
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Ever had that familiar feeling? 13 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
Hum guys I'm pretty sure that's a symptom of depression.
To shake that feeling, you can sleep for 20 minutes, cook or eat an apple, jump/run/sing/... anything that shakes your body at least a bit, preferably funny (walking on your hands or trying to hold a bottle with your feet counts), or set yourself a challenge (write as small as you can, carve something intricated into an eraser, learn by heart a sentence in a language you don't know)... You'll feel more awake and it will activate the reward zones in your tired little brain.
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To shake that feeling, you can sleep for 20 minutes, cook or eat an apple, jump/run/sing/... anything that shakes your body at least a bit, preferably funny (walking on your hands or trying to hold a bottle with your feet counts), or set yourself a challenge (write as small as you can, carve something intricated into an eraser, learn by heart a sentence in a language you don't know)... You'll feel more awake and it will activate the reward zones in your tired little brain.
Give me your best Chuck Norris jokes 13 comments
Ughhh!!! That sucks. 2 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
How do you call a horse with no legs?
You don't call it, you come pick it.
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You don't call it, you come pick it.
Fs-Chan. by me 31 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
Same! She looks as silly as us with no fucks given, aka best friend material!
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Frozen eye lashes 8 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
That's how I imagine Pokemon master Olga, queen of ice pokemons.
(And if you cry, do your eyes freeze and fall?)
(And if you cry, do your eyes freeze and fall?)
Son of a d*ck 18 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
You sound like a delight x)
My favorite insult is "miscarriage face" or "you look like an aborted fetus". I also like other baby-related sayings like "you've been rocked too close to the wall as a baby", "you've been finished with piss" and "wow your dad got way too far when your mom was pregnant".
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My favorite insult is "miscarriage face" or "you look like an aborted fetus". I also like other baby-related sayings like "you've been rocked too close to the wall as a baby", "you've been finished with piss" and "wow your dad got way too far when your mom was pregnant".
Simpler times, when EA wasn’t trying to rape you 20 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
Yessssss! 2001, on the iBook in my parent's room. No food. Nothing except concentration and amazement. "Challenge everything", whispers 4 year-old me with a thick accent, only half sure what this means.
Fast forward. The year is 2016. I come back from morning class and there, in my mailbox, is the exact same game I used to play when I was four, only this time for PC. No time to eat, lunch break is only 2 hours long. "Challenge everything", I say out loud, thrilled and excited.
2017. My stupid computer updated to Windows 10. I spend no less than 5 days finding a way to not check the security and authenticity certificates... and it finally works. "Challenge everything", I let out with a sigh.
Fast forward. The year is 2016. I come back from morning class and there, in my mailbox, is the exact same game I used to play when I was four, only this time for PC. No time to eat, lunch break is only 2 hours long. "Challenge everything", I say out loud, thrilled and excited.
2017. My stupid computer updated to Windows 10. I spend no less than 5 days finding a way to not check the security and authenticity certificates... and it finally works. "Challenge everything", I let out with a sigh.
I heard you like wedding cakes 15 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
Agreed. It looks beautiful but I'm not sure about the taste. Cakes like this are usually covered in a disgusting amount of sugar paste (not sure about the name, in french it's pâte à sucre) and in the center there's just a regular basic butter-flour-egg cake that isn't bad but meh.
I prefer richer flavors.
That being said, kudos to the cake sculptor, they did an amazing job!
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I prefer richer flavors.
That being said, kudos to the cake sculptor, they did an amazing job!
from a book called Disorder in the Courts part 2/3 2 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
I hadn't read "getting laid", "take a guess" and the Circus one before and they got me laughing aloud like a goat. I so need to show this to a friend in class!
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Peace talks 10 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
I think I recognize it, it's a 90's paper. The French version was called Infos du Monde, so probably World News or sthg like that. Totally fake but funny news. (And partially naked chicks in the middle pages)
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Desperation lvl 100 4 comments
Oops 4 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
And the other day while sorting some of my dad's papers I found an old (2000-ish) ad for a 2GB flashdrive that was worth about 100$. I hadn't noticed how things have changed in less than 20 years.
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Edited 6 years ago
You don't deserve him if you can't give him the world 3 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
I saw somewhere that dogs and cats actually function like this and think any door can open to anything, like the bathroom door can lead to sunshine etc...
But I don't know if that's true, because my mom's cat can goddam well open the food closet door when she's hungry and the kitchen and room doors when she wants to play and cuddle.
And dr_rage_quit, we saw big majestic wolves that could have easily killed us and said "hey wanna be friends? We have food and fire" and boom! dogs.
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Edited 6 years ago
But I don't know if that's true, because my mom's cat can goddam well open the food closet door when she's hungry and the kitchen and room doors when she wants to play and cuddle.
And dr_rage_quit, we saw big majestic wolves that could have easily killed us and said "hey wanna be friends? We have food and fire" and boom! dogs.
They start since they are toddlers! 3 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
I don't know why but something about this pic feels like it's an advertisement for god knows what. Can anyone confirm?
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Whatever you do, DON'T look up "Berserk McGurk" on Urban Dictionary. 2 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
...I see the entree for berserk, but nothing for berserk mc gurk. Guess I'm a fool for looking.
On a side note, thanks for posting this video, I had heard of the Muppet show but I hadn't ever seen it, especially not statler and waldorf, and I was missing on something hilarious!
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Edited 6 years ago
On a side note, thanks for posting this video, I had heard of the Muppet show but I hadn't ever seen it, especially not statler and waldorf, and I was missing on something hilarious!
I envy you 5 comments
How to dust a museum exhibit 4 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
Oh my god that was perfect. You win the internet for today.
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Edited 6 years ago
Need more men like this 73 comments
purplepumpkin
· 6 years ago
Oh and three more things : 1. turning on the water before waking her up just wastes water, 2. that's nice but you don't have to basically pet her and be her servant all day, 5 days a month, and 3. why can't you let her sleep? Her panties and pants are already stained anyways.
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Edited 6 years ago
