Well humans max out around a 0.006% incident rate compared to some populations of wild koalas that are at 100%. Apparently you can snatch them up and hit them with penicillin but they have sex so frequently they immediately get re-infected.

It shouldn’t. Current events are for adults. Kids need to learn the stuff that is truly going to help them in day to day life like the Teapot Dome Scandal and the Treaty of Ghent.

Hard people make pools of jizz but eventually go soft and have breakfast.

The choice of words was to make the comment so unlikely to be real that everyone would know it was a joke.

Chlamydia is rampant in koalas.

Nope. It’s called myodisopsia and it’s caused by imperfections in the vitreous humor of your eye. Everyone has them at all times but normally our brain edits them out of the image in real-time or they are lost in the visual noise. You see them when you look up at a perfectly blue sky because it’s bright and monochromatic. That makes it a lot harder to ignore them.

Nope. People just downvote on literal interpretations. No time for subtley.

The koala is statistically more likely to have an STD.

Let’s not forget grammar Nazis.

Is there a sarcasm here I’m not picking up on?

It is amazing the lengths we have to go to for affordable housing. Smh.

You live in a library at the turn of the 20th century? The WiFi must be terrible.

Yeah I got that part. I’m just not sure why “Elon didn’t get the memo” when the tweet is on that exact topic. Are you saying he’s not doom and gloom enough?

What?

As do I but I also value the long term storage and convenient packing of imitation cheese food slices.

It doesn’t say she’s going to change things she can’t change. Things she cannot accept could be a completely different set of things.

Once the police dog is happy with your arm in its mouth is it against the rules to pet him?

Oh, free drugs!