Smitty

smitty


I am just a very thin layer of charming with some funny sprinkles wrapped around a huge creamy center of raging arrogant a-hole.

— Smitty Report User
Sushi burritos 15 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Your chefs were so are occupied with weather they could, they never stopped to think if they should.
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Brighten a bad day 5 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
I didn't know I needed this in my life until now.
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Bum sax 2 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
I'm thinking the solo from this:
https://youtu.be/gy1B3agGNxw
Me as a teacher. 3 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
I'd report that teacher to the school board.
8
Done right, you can haunt their favorite places for years. 18 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Wooow. I don't even know where to start with that. Maybe attention seeking psychotic victim snowflake. Sounds like they need to be snapped out of it. And by snapped, I mean slapped.
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Beats using tinder, though 4 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Beats using tinder? That's not hard. An easy to use ap for bad decision making... like Pokémon Go for STD's, fueling dating cringe comps with material.

I can think of a bunch of things that beat it. Like being forced Clockwork Orange style to watch a Bieber show where the old lineup of 1D opens for him. Having multiple root canals without anesthetic.
Or my personal favorite, having my testicles flattened with a ball peen hammer.
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There's the center of the universe 4 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
May not be as anomalous as previously thought.

In 2014, the Laniakea Supercluster was defined and is comprised of the former superclusters of Virgo and Hydra-Centaurus. The "basin" of which is the center of the Great Attractor.

Additionally, the Shapely Supercluster lies beyond that, which we are also being pulled towards.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Attractor
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laniakea_Supercluster
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shapley_Supercluster
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G-forces at work 8 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
It looks like a progression from:
Wheee! Fun! Fuuun!
Fuuunnngh... I regret this decision.
5
Slim Fit Jeans vs Skinny Jeans 19 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Of course, that's fine. Still bad for their testicles.
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#justmercedesthings 8 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
And a hilarious GTA 4 mod.
Sad but true 9 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Yeah, it's because we inevitably have to pick up the slack of those they can't and aren't recognized or compensated for it.
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f*cking. Unicorn. Frappuccinno 38 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
I'm sorry, but I'm on @dickgrayson 's side here on this one. That's absolute bullshit. This isn't construction or surgery, you're a fucking barrista. You don't get to pick and chose what you are and aren't going to make.
Starbucks already carries a stereotype of being pretentious and having uppity barristas.
This doesn't help, especially considering the coffee isn't that good.

They've been beat in a taste test:
http://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/dunkin-duels-starbucks-taste-test-97295/
And customer satisfaction:
http://www.investopedia.com/stock-analysis/070315/dunkin-beats-starbucks-customer-satisfaction-dnkn-sbux.aspx

Gee, I wonder why.

I'd have done the same and then sent a message to their corporate to let them know their people were going on the radio to tell people to not order a drink.
8 · Edited 6 years ago
Drawing a cup of coffee every morning 3 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Especially for that last one.
5
Slim Fit Jeans vs Skinny Jeans 19 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Levi 527, the only jeans from any brand that fit me worth a damn.
Slim Fit Jeans vs Skinny Jeans 19 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Yeah dudes, don't wear skinny jeans. They're bad for your balls.
18 · Edited 6 years ago
Let's create a list of the best pick-up lines! 46 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
I seem to have lost my number, may I have yours?

Are you my pinkie toe? I want to bang you on all the furniture in my house.
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f*cking. Unicorn. Frappuccinno 38 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Twitter and instagram. It's some next level white girl at Starbucks shit.
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#justmercedesthings 8 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Are you implying it's not?
6
When they announce another spin-off movie 8 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Yeah, no. Fuck you and fuck off.
These are stories that we have been dreaming for and begging to be told since the begining.

Han Solo origin? Or hell yeah sign me up.
(Guess what? It's filming NOW mf'ers)
Lando story? Yes please.
Boba Fett origin story? Please stop, I can only get so erect.

When Disney announced the Lucasarts acquisition and green lit Episode 7 in the same breath, we knew that they would pay the franchise the respect it deserved and tell the tales the fans have been waiting for for 35 years.
9 · Edited 6 years ago
I'm actually surprised to not hear it when I watch the movies. I swore it was said. 7 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Yeah no shit, I know it's not in the movie, that's the point.

In Catholicism, in one of the devotionals, the priest would recite, "may the Lord be with you," to which the congregation would reply, "and also with you." Devout Catholics would also say this to each other as well. To many Catholics, this became a rote response.

Now, be raised Catholic AND a Star Wars fan, upon hearing "May the Force be with you," the gut response is to reply in kind with "And also with you.

This was so pervasive that I had a short conversation with one of the priests at my church about it. He thought it was pretty cool.
20 · Edited 6 years ago
I think I have done the same thing with a stapler 10 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Good question. I think that the pressure could escape through the rifling grooves. It also looks like cracks were starting to form on the upper half of the barrel.
3
Chocolate Rain 5 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
That's cool, thanks. I'll have to check it out.
1 · Edited 6 years ago
Chocolate Rain 5 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Huh, really? I thought it was older.
1
Chocolate Rain 5 comments
smitty · 6 years ago
Oh wow. An oldie but a goodie. Thing is damned near 15 years old.
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