"Excuse me, I identify as an attack helicopter, check your privilege"

Two-faced sum'a bitches.

"More young men are buying android sex robots than actually getting into a relationship with a real woman." A headline in the next forty or so years.

It does. One idiot braking as they change lanes/switching to a lane without indicating and forcing someone behind them to brake. Then another idiot brakes and forces his way into another lane, forcing that lane to brake. Eventually everyone has to stop simply because enough idiots think switching lanes is a great idea to get out of a traffic jam. Stay in your lane unless you need to switch, it'll go faster if you have patience.

Shoulda said "No Homo". That'll save you every time.

Funnily enough, the reason we call it football, is not to piss Europeans off. An American football is almost one foot in length, (11 inches for exact measurements) ergo "football".

Just as there is a specific species of goats who like to play dead, there is funnily enough also a species of snakes that like to play dead.

Being a shapeshifter would be pretty neat all in all. Shift into a smaller form, and even the smallest of meals is a feast, each cup a flood to wash away the drought. Want to go somewhere? Fly as the crow does. Prank your friends? Live anywhere? Be anything? Lot of potential.

Look at this photograph.

Top tier historical banter

...You are welcome?

He can't. He can only breathe water.