The funny thing is, I really hate when someone fakes their own death for a prank, but I always hope that deaths like this are fake. Even if just for a moment.

While that sounds like the kind of shenanigans Wonka would get up to, that just sounds so out of place with the first one.

*Sigh*
Well, may he rest in peace.

My favorite variation of this type of joke is Phineas telling Ferb "Not yet," when he pulls out a mace.
Like two ten year old boys completely decided that clobbering a full grown adult with a melee weapon was a suitable Plan B.

That sounds oh so subtly threatening.
But at this point, whatever works.

Honestly, if you have errands to run after work, probably don't offer to give your coworker a ride home. They want to be home just as much as you do.
If that's the only way they're safely getting home, then it is what it is, but otherwise, probably don't.

And then you have people who don't give a damn that you have social anxiety, and deliberately pressure you, until you're past visibly uncomfortable, to do the thing, solely because they've decided that you absolutely have to be the one to do it, and you don't get any help from them whatsoever.

They're most likely required by corporate policy to do that. They'd probably rather just hand you the blizzard and move on to the next customer.

That's a bit generalistic though.
Sure, don't do that if you had a messy break up, still harbor romantic feelings for them, or any other background of negativity.
But if I amicably broke up with my (non-existent) ex, and he asked for a good weeknight dinner recipe, or wanted to know the brand of hair product I'm using, sure I would respond.

Aw, what a good boi.
May you pass peacefully and quickly into the doggy afterlife.
(Yes, I know that's morbid, but think about it, he's not going to have much longer to live).

Sad thing is, there are some black people who'd let such an award inflate their egos, and use it as a point of superiority and pride.
In short, I think those teens have the right expression for that nonsense.

As much as I would like to, I cannot find this funny, since I know the potential context behind the picture.

This just in: The Royal Family is human just like the rest of us.

I used to have that problem on one of my little toes because the boots I used to wear for work were too narrow, (a fact I figured out much later), I'd have to peel off the built up skin every so often otherwise it would hurt a lot whenever I took a step, to the point it felt like I was limping, (don't know if I really was, no one ever mentioned it). Eventually it just stopped, and healed back to normal because the boots had stretched out.

Oh it will, come November 4th.
Note: this is a joke. Everyone with half a brain knows that microbes listen to no man, and will probably still be here on Election day, unless we do actually eradicate, (I think that's the word I'm looking for?) it by then.

It's a virus, and there are at least two strains going around right now. Immunity to one unfortunately doesn't mean immunity to the other.

Cat: We were ALL having a good day, Steve.

Gotta give them props for drinking the whey.

And another argument I hate the absolute hell out off.

If that isn't Twelve and River.
Yes, I know Twelve is a more serious Doctor, but let him have his joy. He deserves it, and cookies.

I want the blue one.