The funny thing is, I really hate when someone fakes their own death for a prank, but I always hope that deaths like this are fake. Even if just for a moment.

While that sounds like the kind of shenanigans Wonka would get up to, that just sounds so out of place with the first one.

*Sigh*
Well, may he rest in peace.

My favorite variation of this type of joke is Phineas telling Ferb "Not yet," when he pulls out a mace.
Like two ten year old boys completely decided that clobbering a full grown adult with a melee weapon was a suitable Plan B.

That sounds oh so subtly threatening.
But at this point, whatever works.

Honestly, if you have errands to run after work, probably don't offer to give your coworker a ride home. They want to be home just as much as you do.
If that's the only way they're safely getting home, then it is what it is, but otherwise, probably don't.

And then you have people who don't give a damn that you have social anxiety, and deliberately pressure you, until you're past visibly uncomfortable, to do the thing, solely because they've decided that you absolutely have to be the one to do it, and you don't get any help from them whatsoever.