He looks like one of those feather dusters in Beauty and the Beast

Hardly worth it. I'm going to hell anyway, I've got nothing left to lose.

How would you even begin fixing that

People who talk like this are my favorite kind of people

Tbh even if I do kiss you there's still a good chance I'm there for the free food

With daughters that beautiful, why on Earth would you want a son?

I know this fact is total bullshit but I really, really wish it was true

You can get away with anything as long as it's for science

The internet has made me jaded... I was expecting a twist ending where the frog ate the lizard or something. I was pleasantly surprised.

I think I downloaded the wrong version of puberty... all it did for me is give me zits. How do I get the one that makes me hot?