Celsius users: choose how you want to die.

They were not, in fact, ready.

Justin Bieber

Nothing quite like a sense of pride an accomplishment to keep you grinding!

• makes you sound toxic and undatable

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you

This guy would be 54 years old now; either the sheer force of meme is rejuvenating him, or that's not him in the pic.

That car almost hit me.
I almost went bankrupt.
I almost forgot to set my alarm.
Works both ways :/

I'm trying to take pictures of spiderman, but i'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the menace!

Dog version of not being able to walk right after a date went very well.

When I send an email, it auto sorts receivers alphabetically. Can they get mad at each other's names?

Unless you spent upwards of $100,000 on an IMAX camera to film your wedding, the footage would actually look kinda mediocre on an IMAX screen. Would be a waste of a good opportunity to watch the 1999 cinematic masterpiece, The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, which wasn't filmed on IMAX either, but it would still be an opportunity to watch the 1999 cinematic masterpiece, The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, which only someone who hasn't seen the 1999 cinematic masterpiece, The Mummy with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz would pass up.

boi's got some nice legs

There's an excellent song about her called Majesty by Ben Moon/Veela.

The Paarthurnax Dilemma

Broke Rock Mountain

LPT: Can't afford caviar? Blow someone instead!