CarbonTech

carbontech


Here to cast pearls of wisdom and BS in equal measure. Am I too late?

— CarbonTech Report User
Jumping the creek 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
When the landing sticks you.
5
Whats the law on this anyway? 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Plot twist: Court agrees but immediately issues an arrest warrant to hold this guy till he can prove both his identity and citizenship. IRS are waiting in the wings to charge him with a lifetime's worth of tax evasion.
7
Very much 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
M(A/E/Y/O)TH
1
Jesus lending a helping hand 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Receding Hairline Jesus?
2
Aww shit! 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
A spoiler alert would have been nice. Happy New Year anyways.
9
Just tested positive for corona, was 4 days away from getting the vaccine 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Literally, a 1 in a million occurance. But even so, an Epipen or epinephrine shot is always on hand. This versus a 0.9(Turkey) to 8.8(Mexico) PER CENT mortality rate from Covid-19. Using the 0.9 rate of Turkey, that's 9000 deaths out of 1 million cases.
https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/data/mortality
9 · Edited 3 years ago
But really, if you can, donate blood! 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
That's the opening scene in way too many porn movies.
1
Let’s take this global, shall we? 5 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
I would go with vacuum cleaner hoses packed with ball bearings, in countries where they're ubiquitous.
3
I remember 1 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
I remember newsgroups on usenet. People would post nudes and the nicest posters offered you a page of indexed thumbnails because otherwise it was a time consuming, shot in the dark, as you watched, in real time, a picture being generated, scrolling line by scrolling line. The funniest was where you were trolled, as you watched an ostensibly hot girl being revealed line by line, only to discover, a minute or two later, that she wasn't all-girl, lol.
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My aunt has two daughters. Guess which is her favorite 5 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
I'm gonna go with the one who required hours of hands on effort, in order to personalize her wrapping paper.
5
The fastest man alive 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
This guy's comics come with a separate, related comment that he places under the panels. For what it's worth, the one under this one read, "#WatchPeopleDieInside".
https://sundaecomics.com/2020/11/15/watchpeopledieinside/
3 · Edited 3 years ago
Barcelona last night 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Time traveller detected. Photo was actually taken October 19, 2019. It's Barcelona cops outside their HQ reacting to riots in support of Catalan separation.
1
Family time can be relaxing 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Autocorrect, being what it is, has given us a window in what the OP searches for on Pornhub... hopefully.
terrible 18 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Garfield with your eyes closed
Well, that was easy.
6
What did the apple say to the banana? NOTHING BANANAS DONT SPEAK! 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Pretty sure someone's birthday is around the corner.
生日快示 translates as "Birthday Reminder", at least in Google Translate.
3 · Edited 3 years ago
Dancing Spidey 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
and it still seems like he's moving to your choice of background music, lol.
4
When the rich kid gets all the hot girls 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Obviously it's just two actors, showing why they get the big bucks. He's ACTING that he's short, while she's ACTING tall. It's what they do. Jeez!
1
I found this sign in a public restroom and I thought it was funny. Sorry for the bad 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Or in guys' cases...take a leak.
2 · Edited 3 years ago
His feet too big for his gotdang feet 2 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
This is probably a Highlander(formerly a Highland Lynx). The Highlander has physical traits that resemble that of a wildcat. It was created in 2004 when two hybrid breeds, the Desert Lynx and the Jungle Curl, were crossed. Because it was produced from two hybrids, though, this breed does not actually have any wildcat genes, so it is a docile and playful companion. Curled ears, bobtails and polydactyl toes are this 10-20 lb, Maine Coon sized cat's chief physical features.
8 · Edited 3 years ago
Just an unfortunate font selection 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Evidently it's not easy to find and the guys driving, as usual, don't want to ask directions.
5
No one supports you quite like random people on the internet 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
You're 100% correct!
5
My friend Rick doesn't get these jokes, but rolls with them nonetheless 6 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Color blindness is usually an inherited condition that makes it difficult to differentiate among shades of colors. Color blindness happens when the cones of the eye are missing specific light sensitive pigments.
Even if you have complete achromatopsia, totally monochromatic vision, it will make everything look like different hues of gray, but only the very darkest shades might appear blackish. Medium shades of red, blue and green will appear gray, not black. See the following for more details and examples. Dr. Astley, an expert in ophthalmology, has a fascinating presentation.
https://youtu.be/oHg5SJYRHA0
2 · Edited 3 years ago
Why does it look so elegant? 3 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
1880s-photos require long exposures of absolutely still subjects to register an image.
2020-sophisticated CCDs take but a split second to grab an image.
Me, frustratedly waving this posting in front of my cat's face, "Why can't you be more like this good boy!?!?"
3 · Edited 3 years ago
Goals, right? 4 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Yup. As of Dec. 21, gas in the Philippines is about US $0.91/L vs about $3.47/Gallon. Old picture, local variances or slightly jacked up prices to pay for redecorating efforts might explain the 9¢ discrepancy.
5 · Edited 3 years ago
Well, at least it's regular size 6 comments
carbontech · 3 years ago
Best I could find around here, is its equally flavourful, but much tougher neighbour, the skirt steak. A quick sear and a thin cut against the grain save the day.