juicy · 5 years ago
Okay, so I was at camp and we were having a worship service. I fell asleep, and when the sermon was over, they started playing music. I woke up, screaming at the top of my lungs, in front of 200+ people. Then, I just kind of looked around like I didn’t know who did it.
awake_ash · 5 years ago
My whole life
willfree · 5 years ago
One day I was feeling quite ill, crampy and light headed. I figured a little expulsion therapy was in order, so, off to the bathroom to sit on the loo and wait it out, but instead of getting better, I got super woozy and, finally, passed out.
Well, as I toppled over forward, my penis got snagged on the underside of the toilet seat, a cheap plastic thing with an unforgiving rim. The skin caught and with the weight of my whole body pulling the other way - let's just say the end result wasn't pretty.
How many people do you know who've had their junk reassembled with surgical glue? I'm guessing one, now.
deleted · 5 years ago
Shit my parents in the middle of class when I was in kindergarten. I was a firm believer in the mantra of "Out of sight, out of mind" and thought that if they couldn't see the shit they also couldn't smell the shit. Luckily no one remembers it.
hangryyetti · 5 years ago
Okay so I went to the beach, but I wasn't intending on swimming...maybe just tan a little. So I put my bikini top on and put my baggies over my underwear on the bottom. When I got there the sea was beautiful and I decided that I just had to have a swim, but I didn't have any clothes with me so I didn't want to get my baggie wet. (Bear in mind I'm a forgetful person)....soooo I start taking my baggies off in front of everyone....only realising that I didn't have my costume on underneath, but rather my underwear, too late! So yeah. Immediately put my shorts back on and went and had my swim in shame hahaha.
funkmasterrex · 5 years ago
When I was like 9, before I knew what jacking off was, in the middle of a hallway of a movie theater I pleasured myself to the Spice World poster. My mom and my step-dad just had to stand their and wait for me to finish. Shit man; Spice girls were fine AF.... ginger spice mmmmm.
parisqeen · 5 years ago
Holy shit @willfree, I'm not even a guy and I cringed reading that. Ouch.
Okay so one of my brothers loved being a dick to me when I was younger, as they do. One night when I was around 11 while my family was having dinner a guy came and knocked on our door, my brother said to me it was my eldest brothers friend and so I went and opened the door. I said to him "Come in! He's in his room!", gesturing the guy to waltz inside my home. He stood there awkwardly and was like "ahhh no thanks, I was wondering if you'd like to buy a painting" and my mum came up to me and was like "He's just a random selling paintings door to door dear" and I went and smacked my brother and stomped to my room in shame. Not horrible I know but I felt so awkward at the time.