blazingfrags · 5 years ago
I'll start with mine:
My girlfriend told me her mum brought a new air freshener and it was very good..
I told her "why do you need a freshener,you are so perfect,can't you just fart....."(yeah I do wish chats had a NSFW option) needless to say she was pissed
dr_richard_ew · 5 years ago
Girl you're so hot, I'd love to shove my arm up your ass like you're a muppet
hermionegranger · 5 years ago
Dr. Ew I don’t even understand that one
panicatthedisco · 5 years ago
Via tinder so why am I surprised:
Dude: Girl are you from little Cesar's because you look hot and ready.
___________
Dude: What are the chances you let me bang that drum? (???)
___________
Dude: I dreamt I had sex with you last night.
Nice.
acegalaxi · 5 years ago
They call me 'The Teapot'. Is it because I'm short'n'stout OR is it because I've got a big spout? Swipe right to find out...
acegalaxi · 5 years ago
You look like my ex girlfriend.
Oh really. Which one?
My next one.
blazingfrags · 5 years ago
@dr_richard_ew you live up to your user name...you're awesome
blazingfrags · 5 years ago
Yeah tinder's a weird place...oh and that ex girlfriend one is wow
savage_demmigod · 5 years ago
If it's to a guy: simply clutch your fat rolls and say "Want some rolls for that sausage?"
typow777 · 5 years ago
I hope you've got a big trunk. Cuz I'm gonna put my bike in it
mrscollector · 5 years ago
I once had a drunk tell me "Girl you so fine if you was a sandwich I would eat all of you even the crust. Than I would ask for seconds."
My response was
(0.o ) ( o.0)
(0.o)
What the fuck you say to me?
mrsuperman8942 · 5 years ago
girl are you me cause i hate myself.
wimsyexpergefactor · 5 years ago
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I need to walk past you again? (No it did not sound smooth I almost died)