dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago
I fucking hate myself.
I'm currently super close to failing in my current math class, hanging on at 58%(I need a 60 to pass). My last hand in assignment before the final test was due yesterday, and I got my thing all done up and ready to hand in. I placed it on the table at the start and got to work on other classwork. One of my classmates said "I'll take everyone's assignments up" (we gotta take them outside his office for them to be handed in), so I thought "hey, he has my shit, I'll be fine". Well if I had just listened for 2 more minutes then I would've heard that everyone told him not to, and that everyone would take care of their own shit.
I left it on the table overnight, got a 0 for being late, and now that it's considered late I'm now ineligible for a rewrite if I fail the course. Why the fuck am I so fucking stupid. I'm literally ruining my own life due to being completely inept at being a functioning human being and I just want to scream.
dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago
It wouldnt even be so bad if I was unaware that I was a complete and utter moron, then I'd just be blissfully unaware like all those facebook idiots or something. Yeah I'd be insufferable and shitty, but at least I'd be so dumb that I cant even literally hate myself. No, I had to be stupid, but just smart enough to know that I'm a fucking moron. I just want to fucking die. I hate my stupid brain so much
dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago
Sorry for wasting space in the chat section with another stupid chat but I literally have nowhere else to go right now without making a complete autistic fool of myself in front of the entire college, yet at the same time I'm so tired of being forced to bottle everything up whenever I get angry with nowhere to go
kcat · 4 years ago
Aww ew I’m so sorry it just happened but you’re not a moron, ANYONE that heard someone say they’ll take care of it could’ve left their paper thinking he would’ve done it. You’re not a moron but you can take a lesson from this, you can try to do all you can to make sure that you don’t leave it in someone else’s hands whether your assignment gets submitted or not. That’s always a huge risk anything might happen. Maybe you can get your friends that he offered his help to along with him to talk to your lecturer explaining what happened so that he can see it was a genuine mistake. Yes you could’ve done things differently but it was not on purpose, why would you even take the risk when you were already needing to get your grade up.
One of the things that help me out a lot is thinking “so what then?”. Sometimes we put so much weight on things that we feel like if things don’t go according to our plans that somehow we’ve failed and we can’t ever get on a better path. But for as long as we.
kcat · 4 years ago
Take every failure as a lesson we can keep going to even higher places than we planned. So what if you fail? There might be something better in store for you that you can’t even fathom right now, you can’t change your past. What you can change is your perspective and what you do to help your future. Thinking you’re a moron isn’t gonna help, and it’s good that you’re getting it off your chest :) hang in there ew
dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago
Idk man, I'm losing hope for having my ideal future. All I keep doing is making debt for myself and failing to get anywhere. One of my only goals in life is to be remembered by people who dont even know me, so that I wont be forgotten when I die, so I won't just end up another name in the "in memory of" section in the paper, but the more I go on and fail to make progress the more I'm afraid that I'm just gonna end up back at KFC for the rest of my life
kcat · 4 years ago
Your fear of ending up there won’t help you get anywhere else would it, and I don’t know how old you are but I’m close to my 30s and my ideal future has changed every month because either something doesn’t work out or even my dreams change. And for what it’s worth, I’d remember you and I have no idea who the hell you are ;p
themommy1 · 4 years ago
I'm with kcat on this one. Not a ma roon (in my best bugs bunnyvoice) a stressed term almost ending - finals studing- lack of sleep human being. The other thing to try is talk to your prof.... see if there is any work you can do to help bring grade up. Or possibly rework a prior for a regrade. Haveing one fail/redo in most college wipe the prior grade and replace it. Hugs..
dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago
Our teacher said specifically that, simply put, if we fail math, we fail math. No ifs ands or buts. I still have my final test and a bonus test he allowed everyone to do for a chance to boost the mark of the thing they did worst at (which in my case I guess is a 0 bc of this thing), but I seriously needed to pass this thing if I wanted a better chance. My only option now is to fuckin ace this final test. Also, he usually allows us to have a rewrite if we get a 50-59%, as a last ditch effort to pass... ONLY IF we pass in everything on time, which this assignment literally forced me out of, meaning if I fail, no rewrite, try again another year.
Thank you for your support though. I always feel bad for ranting here (but seeing as how ranting in real life always ends in disaster for me, doing so semi anonymously is my only solid method), but you guys always help out when I need it <3 <3 <3 <3
kcat · 4 years ago
I’d still say talk to him even if he had laid down those rules. Best case he gives you a chance and worst case you remain at where you are now so you have nothing to lose. Then study super hard for your final. Do lots of practice questions and really understand the logic. Good luck! You’ve got this
themommy1 · 4 years ago
Solid advice kcat! Always talk to your.Profs.... it can't hurt And it can help. ! you can do this... you know the logic behind the problem... practice.... apply ... !!! <3