rydler · 4 years ago
So I'm a bit... tired. Of some people.
I'm currently on a New York trip with the theatre group at my college. I am also a theatre major. Now, they have been doing alot of things in their own group, and I'm fine with that.
I'm not asking to be a priority or anything. But none of them ever reach out to me. I really noticed it today, I didn't know what they were doing, so I sat in my hotel room and did nothing.
And it turns out they went to a singing diner, that i really wanted to go to with them, because it's my first time in NY and they said it would be great.
I just feel really left out and left behind and I don't know what to do. I'd otherwise chalk this up to me being a Freshman, but the other Freshman in the group got invited to the group Itinerary right in front of me, i was sitting next to the guy who sent it to her.
I absolutely do not think they dislike me or anything, they're all super sweet and kind people, i just think that they don't think of me. and that just... hurts.
rydler · 4 years ago
I want to be included, I want to laugh with them and have fun with them.
When I'm around them I do. But I'm tired of constantly asking what they have planned and what's next.
I'm an introvert, and a very reserved one at that. If you don't directly ask me or invite me, I assume you don't want me.
I've gotten used to forcing myself to ask if I can tag along and go with them, but after a certain point it just gets tiring and I feel more unwanted even though I know I'm not.
I should tell one of them that, at least so that they know.
sorry, thanks for reading this.
Love you people, Ry
cakelover · 4 years ago
I'm kinda in the same boat mate
I'm selectively social and very few people seem to want to spend time with me
I'm still trying to figure out what I can do about it
But yeah, it sucks
creativedragonbaby · 4 years ago
I literally am in the exact same boat. All those thoughts have gone through my head. I end up crying at night sometimes when I feel particularly left out. If anyone has any advice I’d love to hear it :(
creativedragonbaby · 4 years ago
All my friends are so lovely and kind, and they get along so well... but I say something, make a joke, and everyone kinda goes quiet. I’m not checked up on, I’m not always invited. It sucks
who_cares · 4 years ago
I am really sorry for how you feel. I understand how heartbroken that makes you.
Maybe you should take the initiative to take them out to some new place or make a plan on what to do next. If you try to rake the lead once, they will ask you also from the next time onwards. Worked with my friend once, maybe you can try too.
If otherwise, try going out on your own. It's a new city go out and explore on your own. Since you are an introvert, the "self" company would feel nice and make you feel at ease. Get yourself some nice food, go to a park and get sunbathed. Do all the things you want to. I wish you peace and happiness.
dr_richard_ew · 4 years ago
I'm in the same boat with my roommates rn. A few months ago we used to do all sorts of fun shit together, nowadays they either stay in their rooms for the entire day or hang out with their classmates elsewhere. I know they dont dislike me (I still talk to them once in a while), but I always hear them laughing and having a good time while I'm always sitting alone doing nothing of real importance. I mean, they're having a great time, and that's awesome, but it sure would be nice to feel less lonely while their friends are around.
(Also tbh I'm kinda fine with them inviting their friends bc I kinda have a crush on one of them)
rydler · 4 years ago
Thanks y'all, glad to know I'm not alone.
@who_cares thanks for the tips, not sure how Sunbathing will work in the 20° weather though lol.
I bought tickets to go see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child plays, actually really cheap and the play is absolutely phenomenal.
Thank you all so much, we'll all get through this
who_cares · 4 years ago
Together @rydler.
Hahaha I should've researched the temperature at your place.
rydler · 4 years ago
Don't worry about it, it's an interesting thought
who_cares · 4 years ago
Glad then. Keep us updated on how your days are going.
spookykink58 · 4 years ago
Hey ryd. I know how that exactly feels, from both, people thinking of me as unapproachable or not much point of views. It really sucks. I tend to keep my groups small now. But seeing as it is the last semester of college, I don't think it will last much longer.
Anyway, really sorry to see that you are in such a place. Hope things turn around.
rydler · 4 years ago
I'm back at school now, and back with my friends here. I'm doing better, so thank you all for your help
spookykink58 · 4 years ago
That's great. It's nice to hear that.
rydler · 4 years ago
Thanks Spook, good luck with your last semester!
spookykink58 · 4 years ago
Thanks man. I kinda need it this sem. The teachers are on strike so we are teaching ourselves. I am the class appointed teacher right now.
While it is frustrating and exhausting trying to get a class to learn and constantly being in the loop about the teacher strike, I definitely like being the guy everyone relies on.
who_cares · 4 years ago
That seems nice. I wish you the best company and the best times.