Load Earlier Messages
lnorthstar · 4 years ago
Sit down and talk to us, we got'chu.
blazingfrags · 4 years ago
Yep I'm willing..I owe a lot to Oreo cookies anyway
savage_demmigod · 4 years ago
I'm free too
timebender25 · 4 years ago
I'm incredibly late but please, do.
deleted · 4 years ago
Choose one of us or all of us baby.
art_with_ghost · 4 years ago
I’m here too
properchaos · 4 years ago
We got you, fam
coleypoley · 4 years ago
I'm also here
who_cares · 4 years ago
Hey buddy, what is it? I am way too late but I am here for you.
blazingfrags · 4 years ago
Tbh kinda proud of this fs community
kcat · 4 years ago
I’m just gonna comment in case I’m online when you respond cookie and know that we’re all here for you
parisqeen · 4 years ago
Well looks like you got quite a few options here @oreocookie, so whenever your ready
oreocookie · 4 years ago
I’m sorry that took so long, been thinking about how I was gonna put this in words (English is not my native language)
oreocookie · 4 years ago
Okay so I’ve met this girl about 2,5 years ago and we really got along, and we have been best friends ever since (I am a heterosexual girl myself, so this is not about romance or anything). However, after a while I noticed that I was always the one who had to reach out to her and asked to like hang out and stuff. Also when I was feeling down, she kinda disappeared out of my life and the moment I felt good again she was back. When she got a boyfriend it got even worse, so I decided I was done with it, this didn’t feel like a ‘best friendship’. I felt really shitty about it for a while because I missed her, but then I started focusing on other friendships more and I was actually quite okay with it. We still hang out sometimes, but way way less.
oreocookie · 4 years ago
However, a couple days ago a mutual friend of ours told her that I was mad at her (which I was not, but that’s what he made of it I guess) and she texted me that she wants to talk, and can’t sleep because I am mad at her and she feels like we are still best friends. But I actually am quite okay with how things are now between us and I don’t want to talk with her because she hates it because I am mad at her. I want to talk to her because she noticed that she was being a shitty friend. Anyways, how would you deal with this? Should I just tell her I am fine with how stuff is now? Should I give her another change? Because I quite often told her it felt shitty when she wasn’t there for me, and she always said she would pay attention to it.
oreocookie · 4 years ago
I know it sounds kinda girly and dramatic, but I really don't know what to do... I don't want things to be weird between us (what probably will happen when I tell her I am fine with not being that close friends anymore) because we have a lot of mutual friends
coleypoley · 4 years ago
I've recently been through realising my "best friend" is like this, it's a long story, but I would encourage you to look into covert narcissists. If you've found that you're happier with things as they are maybe you could just send a text saying something along the lines of "hey, I'm not mad at you but I feel more at peace with things as they are. I felt like I always had to carry the friendship and that's not how I want to feel. There's no hard feelings, but also there's nothing to talk about." A normal person would just accept that and things would continue as they have been, but I think you should prepare for a freak out because that's how covert narcissists are. Your peace and happiness must come first, I'm glad you have other friendships to fall back on.
parisqeen · 4 years ago
I agree with @coleypoley. If you ever feel like you are carrying the friendship, for example you're always the one who has to initiate a conversation or ask to hang out or listen to her problems and help but she won't do the same then that's an unhealthy friendship. Unfortunately, for some people they just don't find it natural in a friendship to ask how the other person is doing. I tend to find these friendships either fall a part really quickly or the other person becomes more of a therapist than a friend which is so damn tiring. If you feel that you're more relaxed and happy when you're not as close with her than keep it that way, you always have to think of your own happiness and having people in your life that bring you down is no way to live. If she is mature and understanding she will respect your wishes and you guys can remain as you are now.
deleted · 4 years ago
I agree with paris and coley.
kcat · 4 years ago
Coley and Paris have put it perfectly. The only thing I’d add is that if she does start acting negatively to it I hope that you don’t feel guilty because based on what you said you had tried to make things work out but her absence had wedged a gap between you. So if it does get bad I hope that you put yourself first and do all you can to make sure you’re doing okay. You might want to also keep getting support from your other friends so that if you needed to you’d be able to share your concerns without holding it in