Cloudgatherer

cloudgatherer


"One of God's own prototypes. Some sort of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, too rare to die."

— Cloudgatherer Report User
Simple as 27 comments
cloudgatherer · 1 year ago
Assuming that "universally" is being defined as something less than an absolute 100% majority, I stand by it. Statistically speaking, you like red, I like blue. I like the smell of fireworks, you don't. However, we both have/want 'girlfriends', be that a wife or a passing lover. (Assuming we are both 'average' males, as is the subject of the post) To be literal when talking about "universal" desireability is a bit absurd. There is always a 0.1%. You like throwing stones? Well, I identify as a bird, and take offense to your careless disregard for my family's wellbeing. =D
Simple as 27 comments
cloudgatherer · 1 year ago
C'mon fellas... The ONE thing we ALL universally like? Wouldn't the most obvious answer be.. women?
2
I'm a broke college student 5 comments
cloudgatherer · 1 year ago
I'm not talking about murderers and child molesters here. We are conditioned to treat everyone in jail the same, regardless. The guy who raped and murdered a girl, treated the same as the guy who kills her murderer. Or robs him. Or fades him. When you fall into the system, you are all treated like shit, not matter what petty thing you did to get there. The SAME system that uses those same people they have in captivity as 95% of the work force. You think Correction Officers are cleaning toilets, or mowing grass, or fixing meals? No. They are not. Inmates are, and they are being inticed to do so because.... You guessed it. Extra food and snacks (which is money). Also, to get slightly better treatment. Don't get me wrong, you'll still be treated like a shit sandwich. Just not a soggy one.
I'm a broke college student 5 comments
cloudgatherer · 1 year ago
Not in the stereotypical bullshit you think of it from television and film. The actuality of it. The best way I could describe jail would be: Living inside of a bathroom with a random stranger, trading snacks as currency. To even have the remotest facsimile of a 'decent' meal, you'll require money be it from the inside or the outside. -NOTE- I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH: Never. Not once. Not even a little bit did I ever, even remotely think that, even our "best" meal was good. Like everyone else there, it made me miss the outside even more. Food is an almost guaranteed way to break a man, and if you guys think for a second that, even the old local county jail right down the road from you, wouldn't withhold food and water, and otherwise fuck your existence up for the sake of their own power trip, then you're too naive to understand at all.
I'm a broke college student 5 comments
cloudgatherer · 1 year ago
Inmate's food is far from free. The saddest reality of it is that once the facility is developed at the cost of the tax payers, it is handed over to a privatized company/owner who, in turn, creates a system that not only milks the federal and local municipalities out of obligatory stipends for each individual detainee; but, ALSO gets to charge/penalize those same exact individuals, as well as their families. They are 'legally' required to give you your daily allotment of slop and medical assistance, regardless of your ability to pay; however, these amenities are far from the satisfactory scale we would hold professionals to outside of the system. I was never a fan of school food, but I can assure you from personal experience that it is 100% better than jail food. I can only assume those that relate to this have never been incarcerated or had loved ones that have. It's one of the most fucked up experiences a person can endure.
A nice treat after a successful colonoscopy 4 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Besides the brown-eyed sphincter-squirt staring at me, I'm a li'l bit reassured that I'm not the only one that has 0% faith in my "nonstick" pans and uses parchment paper for baking. No matter how misshapen my brownies are because of it, they are divorce-your-momma-fire-af.
6
Enlarged version of the X 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Nobody:
FunSubstance: I feel personally called out by this.
3
The terrifying anatomy of Grimace 15 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
I will sort'f miss Anatomy Grimace. It's all I've had to look at for so long, it's all I know now.
3
Needs peer review 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Left is love, right is spite.
2
The terrifying anatomy of Grimace 15 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
French-fried, my friend. Which is your brain on drugs, except with a baret and a baguette.
3
Weak should fear the strong 5 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Ordering "without seasoning" in most chain-restaurants accomplishes the same effect, be it fries or burgers or whatnot. Makes 'em cook it fresh, because it's uncommon enough not to preemptively prepare. I always exclude condiments on my order so I can put them on myself in the proper ratios. That and I'm a bit paranoid, and it makes it easier to hyperexamine my food before I eat it.
3
You've Heard of Elf on a Shelf Predictive Text Game 29 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
... Out of respect, I'ma take the high road on that one.. Besides.. I'm no linguist.. Maybe head doesn't translate universally? Oh boy, that low road is tempting, though. *twitches*
3
You've Heard of Elf on a Shelf Predictive Text Game 29 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
"You've heard of elf on a shelf, well get ready for a mexican restaurant in a few years."
I just gotta build it first, I reck'n. That's too long to wait for tacos!
3
Gross 3 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Don't knock it 'til you try it. *pitch of voice increases with every word* Double your fingers, and uh double your fun? Hm? Little bit of the ol' slap and tickle? *cringy boy soprano at this point* Curious what else he uh, has an extra of?
2
Where are you. And I'm so sorry 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
"Well folks, Momma's wronnnng again."
- The Waterboy (1998)
2 · Edited 2 years ago
I'm on the Naughty List Because Predictive Text Game 46 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
I'm on the naughty list because I don't know what I want but I'm still a bit confused with my true feelings about it but it seems like a good idea for a girlfriend to do something that is really a bad idea for you.
5
Geezer in a freezer 11 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Ceasar in a freezer
8
Ayayayay 7 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Okay, but what is it? I wasn't hating, I genuinely have no idea, and at this point I refuse to Google it, lol. Is it... an anime?
Ayayayay 7 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Or it's something gay, right? Or like some kind'f fucked up hentai furry whoosewhatsit, that's completely missing my radar? F'real confused, y'all.
Ayayayay 7 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
^Has no social media... or social life? Only know it from context, and I still couldn't tell you wtftitisa JoJo? Should I be embarrassed or proud? Isn't JoJo the pink guy, sadboi acidrapper? Or is it a show I'm missing? IDK. UPisDOWNlaughCRYlaughCRY, what's the difference.
On the first day of predictive text my true love gave to me 48 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Whew. I've tried it a couple different ways.. The abyss only gets deeper. I'm not entirely sure why my autocorrect is so nemo [sic] and monotonous.. or it's obsession with cars, but, uhh.. Sometimes we should be careful where we look. Might just see what we're trying to find.. o_o'
3
Ambiguous libido 2 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Although a side effect of certain drugs, not caused by a drug specifically. I can hit points like that on random days at random times... Albeit I guess I'm never, for any extended length, under the influence of the worst drug of all: sobriety. Wish we could bottle that shit. The ambewhatchacallit, not the sobriety.
1
Some spicy OC 15 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
Dealing with police is kind'f like dealing with a hot pan. There's usually only one way to handle them without any risk, and without any party involved becoming nervous. There are alternative ways, but generally a good rule of thumb is not to antagonize your pans. Things could easily 'fly off the handle', and fuck up just about everything around. Pick your battles, and -never- incriminate or implicate yourself in -anything-, be it jokingly, or in anger, or not. Your words can very much be used against you in this, our criminal system. That being said, there is also no need to excessively fear your, uh, pans. They exist only, and were made by our hands; and, by our hands can be unmade. 1-16-1-2! APAB!
On the first day of predictive text my true love gave to me 48 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
The second time I tried, it went off the rails quick, and got dark.. o-o
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: I had to take my own life in a car and then the car would have been on my side of my life for a few months now but it is still very hard hat..
5
On the first day of predictive text my true love gave to me 48 comments
cloudgatherer · 2 years ago
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: a lot more concerned about the world..
=S
5