Can't make her shoot lazers from her eyes.

No need, I clear mine every day.

On the flipside, men who allow themselves to be manipulated and used because they're holding on to a false hope also need to wake up and realise that they're being used and move on. (I'm in no way whatsoever condoning or defending women who use men, I'm just saying, both parties need to realise the error of their ways)

I've always wanted to get disowned anyway

Do they toast themselves?

The weeping wanker

I didn't think Kim K would say no to something long, hard and black.

In SA, a group similar to the fbi, but much more low budget, the scorpions, were disbanded because they started investigating the president. Perfectly illegal, but obviously, very little was done to remedy the situation and said president is still in power.

My cousin told me I look gay. I just smiled and said that's because I'm happy I'm not a judgemental fucknugget like him.

And if aliens do exist, they're either not really that advanced, or just don't find us worth interacting with. I don't blame them, I wouldn't wanna interact with us either.

Well, most of us claim to be forever alone, so I'm not sure what to think.

Wrong lollipop guys. Shoulda used pin pop.

Pre-sliced and packaged

Its a red dementor!!!

Why buy a glass when you can drink straight from the bottle. If you're alone. And sad.

That's actually pretty damn accurate.

Well, that's the same for humans. We're all exposed to a basic similar education, but our perceptions are different. Our personalities too, differ, even if we're exposed to the same thing.

I think a swap would be in order here.

You can never be too sure with those sneaky bastards.

Caught with his pants down, but still has a back up plan.

Yeah, looking all smug with her hair and face and nose and head and body. Damn bitch.

Heh, you should've seen the girls at my school. Literally so bad that they'd be copying the guys homework 3 times a week because they'd been partying the night before.