You my dear (slightly creepy but kinda charming) stranger, you are our generation's Shakespeare. That was disturbingly beautiful

"Also, if you want to please your kid, you will have to buy our latest model for him"

Well then.. "Goodbye cruel world!!" *jumps off the Burj Khalifa and proceeds to become the best reaper to ever (not) exist. Death shall be my game*

Well the girl in prometheus was 'expecting' a baby but out popped an alien!

Honestly though, cleaning that up is gonna be a real pain

Either way this shop confuses me. I mean, the options are kids exchange and kid sex change and they both sound fishy..

Hey, it's one step closer to your very own 2004 Evo 8 ;)

"Yes hello. I would like a one way ticket to Sweden please. Thank you"

John Green becomes jealous
:>

And you were like *suspicious voice*
"hello?"
"hello"
"yes, wh-"
"oh! Hii! You sound so different"

New role model

He's a free man! He can do anything! No time to just sit and do nothing

The only math I understand

My new nickname for people ^.^

Don't you mean everyday is Zero Tasking day?

Omygosh :'D This post just became my favourite post of all time XD