Is mayonnaise an instrument?

It's a number.

What?! All this time my parents were telling me mayonnaise was a cleaning product damn it.

So using trombones as hats is 'in' now?
....well here comes the hipsters wearing trombones and shit

Trombones need rights too! They are functioning members of society by reminding us of our compassion and distant roots. Save these poor victimized trombones from being a target any longer. Save the trombones!

But I heard the French horns are totally in season.

Yes.. This problem must be addressed! Save the brass!