What I'm saying is when you don't treat someone with respect and don't let them feel cared about and heard it makes it difficult to feel real respect for you. You can't go around talking down to kids and treating them like second class human beings. They may be less experienced but their feelings are just as real as yours and deserve the same consideration and respect. It's important to give a child care but it's also important to show them respect.
Of course. I just think it's also important to remember that children are immensely indebted to their parents and teachers.
Overall though, I think we have to be really careful with these ideas. Demanding that someone respect you before you respect them is a violation of the categorical imperative, as it would lead to a world where nobody respects or loves anybody. We have to be careful we don't let it get that far. It is better to be one who respects others unconditionally.
Well that's one way to look at it. But can't we all just learn a mutual respect for each other? Nobody has to "do it first". There's no need to force anybody to respect anybody else if we all try to make ourselves respectable when expecting respect form others. And in my opinion there's a rather wide and defined line between respect and fear even through they may look a bit alike sometimes. I don't completely understand what you mean by unconditional respect, though. When I was younger I was fearful and yet still utterly resentful of authority in the way I felt about it.
Well, either someone has to do it first or we all have to start doing it together at the exact same time. The latter probably isn't going to happen though. I believe in taking personal responsibility for your own actions. Don't let anyone else determine whether you are going to be respectful or not. That's basically what I mean by "unconditional." It's when you decide that you are going to be the best person you can and treat everyone how you would like to be treated, regardless of how they treat you. It's just like unconditional love, really. It's saying, "I may not agree with everything you do, but I love and respect you anyway, and I want what's best for you, and I will do anything I can to help you be happy."
Well it's not as if it has a definate and proclaimed starting point. There's no switch to flip, or deceleration of respect waiting to be made as each person dares the other to go first. Respect can develop slowly and mutually in a relationship. Respect often doesn't even a clear defenition of What it establishes in a relationship. I believe that you can definitely love and respect someone even of you don't agree with everything they ever do or say to some degree. I don't know about you but my respect has to be earned. Take a teacher for example: I don't imideately respect people who are nothing but assholes with a piece of paper that says they're in charge of me. Let us remember that A teacher has a job to do and so does a student but this is not an excuse for arrogance on either part. It's the students job to learn not to respect their teacher because respect is an internal thing and frankly nobody can monitor that.
A question I would like to raise is: Is it really respect you feel for somebody when you are forced to show "respect"? Are children being taught to respect their teachers or simply be submissive towards them?
Like you said, respect is internal. Submission isn't the same, because respect is more of an attitude than a behavior. I guess the biggest way I disagree with your approach is that I believe respect should be freely given at first, at a generous level. That person's actions as you get to know them may raise or lower it, but I think it's best to have respect be the default setting.
Let me define respect for you: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. I don't know about you but I don't immediately admire everyone I see for nonexistent qualities. Maybe you're able to give it freely but mine is earned.
Well, having it earned is a part of the definition you're using, so obviously. I guess we're maybe just talking about different kinds/levels of respect then. In that case we're probably not so different after all. :)
Overall though, I think we have to be really careful with these ideas. Demanding that someone respect you before you respect them is a violation of the categorical imperative, as it would lead to a world where nobody respects or loves anybody. We have to be careful we don't let it get that far. It is better to be one who respects others unconditionally.