Not only that but there are also the people who legitimately end up falling in love with their best friend. And when this legitimately happens they usually arent that mad at anyone. Its just sad
mr1 you're right but the loudest ones are the ones who are described in the meme. Which sucks for the ones you're describing because then they look like an asshole because of douchebag "victims". You just can't win it seems.
The second most painful thing I've ever gone through has been getting friendzoned, mainly because it was my first time in my 18 years of life asking a girl out. But I stayed her friend for many months, did my best to keep her happy despite my misery, and ended up introducing her to my best friend cause I thought we could all hang out together. Big. Fucking. Mistake. She ended up falling for him completely, and while she used to text me every day just to talk about shit, she took that to him instead. Then started ignoring me completely, so I went with it figuring she'd be happier. Then, since we share a group of friends, she acts like a complete bitch toward me every time she sees me, even when around people or in public. From where she fell for my best friend on has been the MOST painful thing I've gone through.
Consider yourself lucky - if she is bitchy now when all you did was declare your feelings and continue to be nice to her when she did not feel the same - just imagine what life would be like as her boyfriend. You would never please her, she would dump all over you then dump you. Sorry you're hurting but it would have been way worse.
Thanks for your concern. Despite the fact that I don't know you, it does mean a lot. But I'm completely over it now, which is nice. Now I'm just sitting here wondering why sharing a true and very personal story got downvotes like that......
Hey, I wasn't trying to start anything controversial here. I have sympathy for any guy or girl who falls inlove (with their friend) without it being reciprocated.
My problem lies with these guys that get a "hot friend" with every intention to turn her into their girlfriend. These are the guys that end up acting as if they've been wronged when you say you never saw them as anything more than a friend. Some of them even go as far as calling you names or generally bad mouthing you, because you "friendzoned" them. Apparently keeping male friends as only friends makes a girl a stuck up bitch.
When you start a friendship with a girl let it simply be about an honest friendship. If by chance more develops, then so be it. But don't expect to turn girls into you GF by starting out with a fake friendship. I think this way of getting girls is deceitful and becoming angry when your tactic fails is simply pathetic.
All that said, I do sympathise with what Mr1 and 15j described.
Mr1,
Anytime some one's love is not reciprocated, whether male or female, previously friends or not, it's a sad thing. And I never meant to throw anything at people who started an honest friendship and then developed more feelings. I can only imagine how painful something like that must be.
15Jbaughman,
That is a terrible story and the girl that did that to you doesn't sound like much of a friend at all.
I can understand that it must be very hard to be inlove with a girl that doesn't feel the same, but still want her in your life enough to settle for being her friend. I wish she would have understood what a tough position you were in and acted accordingly.
I think a good friend would have tried to look at things from your perspective aswell. Even if she wasn't in love, that doesn't mean she can't emphatise with you.
I truly think you're better off without that sort of drama in your life. Thank for posting such a personal story and I wish you a much better 2nd try with a sweeter girl.
Whether girls like to admit it or not, they have male friends for a reason. That reason is resources (bear in mind this is a very broad category). If the man can provide her with something she wants or needs she will happily be his friend. This is called hypergamy. There is nothing inherently wrong with it, but it just irritates me when girls say they can "just be friends" with a guy; they can't, unless he provides them with something. This could be as simple as compliments, or as material as money. Furthermore, I think you will find that in 99% of cases, close male friends would have sex with the female friend if given the opportunity (unless the guy is particularly lacking in confidence and then he will just fantasize about the girl).
I greatly appreciate what you said lihea, and it's quite heartwarming to think that despite your not knowing me you are able to attempt to lift my spirits. And it worked. It's because of people like you that I frequent this site, and you have my sincere gratitude.
Awww, very sweet of you 15j, but no gratitude necessary. I think most of us know what it's like to be mistreated by someone and I just wanted you to know you're not alone and not to let this experience shy you away from trying again :)
As for the guest reply before yours-
I think they have a very negative and distorted idea of women. If your female friend wants money, compliments, etc. I think it's safe to say she isn't looking for a friendship. That would be true for a same gender "friend" as well. I have always had male friends and don't want any of those things from them. I hang out with them because we share interests and humor. We hang as I would with my female friends. And yes, there is something I get from it, just as with female friends. I get enjoyable companionship. No more. We chill, talk, play games (I love chess, most of my female friends don't, but my male friends do) and joke around. That's what friends do. And I don't see how gender should affect any of this.
the friendzone doesn't exist. fall in love with a girl all you want and if it doesn't reciprocate, that's her choice and you as a member of the male sex should be an example and RESPECT her and her wishes. she doesn't owe you anything
Jesus Christ. So many arguments about the friend zone.
This is just another term to say "I like her/him, but he/she doesn't likes me back".
It DOES exist. It has always existed. It's just a new terminology.
Just like "trolling". Before that came into our vocabulary, we said "prank", "deceive" or "joke". Just. Another. TERM.
End this non sense please.
Most of you have misinterpreted "Friendzone." The real residents are the guys who pay the girl's way "as a friend," get to hear her dump about her relationship woes and struggles with other girls, rub her back, get asked to provide feedback on hair/clothes/makeup, and never have a chance to be considered BF material. Plenty guys see they're in the Friendzone and don't back out, so some blame goes on them.
My problem lies with these guys that get a "hot friend" with every intention to turn her into their girlfriend. These are the guys that end up acting as if they've been wronged when you say you never saw them as anything more than a friend. Some of them even go as far as calling you names or generally bad mouthing you, because you "friendzoned" them. Apparently keeping male friends as only friends makes a girl a stuck up bitch.
When you start a friendship with a girl let it simply be about an honest friendship. If by chance more develops, then so be it. But don't expect to turn girls into you GF by starting out with a fake friendship. I think this way of getting girls is deceitful and becoming angry when your tactic fails is simply pathetic.
All that said, I do sympathise with what Mr1 and 15j described.
Anytime some one's love is not reciprocated, whether male or female, previously friends or not, it's a sad thing. And I never meant to throw anything at people who started an honest friendship and then developed more feelings. I can only imagine how painful something like that must be.
15Jbaughman,
That is a terrible story and the girl that did that to you doesn't sound like much of a friend at all.
I can understand that it must be very hard to be inlove with a girl that doesn't feel the same, but still want her in your life enough to settle for being her friend. I wish she would have understood what a tough position you were in and acted accordingly.
I think a good friend would have tried to look at things from your perspective aswell. Even if she wasn't in love, that doesn't mean she can't emphatise with you.
I truly think you're better off without that sort of drama in your life. Thank for posting such a personal story and I wish you a much better 2nd try with a sweeter girl.
As for the guest reply before yours-
I think they have a very negative and distorted idea of women. If your female friend wants money, compliments, etc. I think it's safe to say she isn't looking for a friendship. That would be true for a same gender "friend" as well. I have always had male friends and don't want any of those things from them. I hang out with them because we share interests and humor. We hang as I would with my female friends. And yes, there is something I get from it, just as with female friends. I get enjoyable companionship. No more. We chill, talk, play games (I love chess, most of my female friends don't, but my male friends do) and joke around. That's what friends do. And I don't see how gender should affect any of this.
This is just another term to say "I like her/him, but he/she doesn't likes me back".
It DOES exist. It has always existed. It's just a new terminology.
Just like "trolling". Before that came into our vocabulary, we said "prank", "deceive" or "joke". Just. Another. TERM.
End this non sense please.