well, atleast i have ice cream and chocolate.

I have some pop tarts and regret

Pffft, who needs abs when you've got nutella and pizza? Double dose of happiness, my friends

I like my abs like I how like my houses...
insulated.

Perfect abs? There's a six pack in the refrigerator. Of beer, anyway.

I have so many jelly beans.

Well obviously your not going to find perfect abs in the fridge. You know what removing someones abdominal muscles does to said muscles. They go all weirdly limp and knotted at the same time. Maybe if you take the entire thorax, but that would just take up too much room.