My mom bought me a baby cactus once and then she killed it.

I killed a cactus once...

I wouldn't take i personally. I dropped my cactus and the arms fell off and sprouted and now I have like 10 of them. They don't follow normal logic.

One time, my sister had a cactus she wouldn't take off the porch. Dad ended up stepping on it. Luckily he had a blowtorch, with which to burn off the spines.

Reminds me of Nick on New Girl