"I asked my buddy at work what he was doing, he said playing Pokémon GO"

It also counts as distance if you walk in circles that are big enough, so maybe this one already is

Having used a record player to hatch eggs, I can confirm this would work.

I looked at this and tried it, it did work, it does measure distance using GPS, but as long as the circle is big enough and is the phone travels fast enough it will still count as walking