Tell me your best Chuck Norris Jokes!

Chuck once threw a grenade, and it killed 50 people. Then it exploded

Chuck Norris eats pencils and papers and shits out masterpieces

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he sits on the porch and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and incredible martial arts skills. Once the deal was complete, he proceeded to roundhouse kick the devil in the face and take his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, wasn't angry with him, and they now play poker together every other Tuesday.

Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity but he got it back for her

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chucked. (Courtesy of my Green Beret brother who heard it from one of his buddies in Afghanistan, which I think makes it funnier.)

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

They once named a street after Chuck Norris but had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the crap out of it

Chuck Norris died 16 years ago. Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris doesn't tell Chuck Norris jokes because he knows they're ludicrously fucking dated and everyone who reads them rolls their eyes while remembering a crusty old meme