Genuinely can't tell if this is meant to be a commentary on the "no means yes" to men trope, or a commentary on how women give mixed signals. Or maybe a third option entirely
Hmmm. I hate to be unpopular opinion puffin but: If you want him to stop, tell him to stop. If you want him to continue, tell him to continue. If you’re not sure, take as long of a break as you need and see how you feel. Mixed signals tonite can lead to regret tomorrow. Be absolutely certain you want to go along for the ride before you hand him the keys to your ignition.
I have specific different stops and no's for if I'm being playful or serious. Bf knows the difference.
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· 5 years ago
I think men should get rid of the concept that there is a certain "go ahead" signal that literally means "from now on, have your way til you're finished - legit". I really don't get this "women shouldn't give mixed signals" - what else to signal when you have mixed feelings? When at any point anyone says: Nope that's as far as it goes, then it must end right there. How is that complicated? And please don't come with this "men cannot read subtle signals" - men do it all the time, it's just other mens signals.
Because it's not actually that black & white. There are plenty of times where my gf would playfully say "stop it" when I knew she definitely wanted me to continue (how did I know ? I actually stopped and apologised the first time and she wasnt thrilled about it x)).
Pretty sure this meme doesnt refer to when making a move on a stranger but rather a case where you are intimate with a person and she says no playfully. Because seriously who has never said no just to have the other one work a bit harder ? (Again, with someone you know, its ABSOLUTELY NOT THE SAME with a stranger).
.....have you never heard "staaaawwwp :)"? Women do this. It's the most confusing fucking thing. I get it means keep going... but fuck if I'm trying to figure out my defense because she technically said stop while... well at that point only she's fucking me.... I'm over here doing fucking integrals.
This is the literal reason safe words exist. Some people want to say stop or no without actually having someone stop. This puts the other person in an egregiously unfair position-- if they listen, they run the risk of ruining the moment/losing the opportunity/annoying their partner. If they DON'T listen, they run the risk of ruining a relationship, traumatizing a person beyond reason, and ending up on the sex offender list for the rest of their lives.
The problem is a lot of relationships, especially super casual, "vanilla," or new relationships won't take the time or have the comfort level to establish a safe word. Established relationships have a bit of an added benefit of being able to read the subtle signals we send through tone and body language correctly.
Nevertheless, if you're not sure you want to go ahead, why fuck around? Set a boundary. Establish a safe word. Maybe you feel this will ruin the moment, but at the end of the day it will be far less awkward than explaining "I thought he/she WANTED me to do that!" to the police/your family and friends after. Don't put either yourself or your partner at risk.
I approve
Pretty sure this meme doesnt refer to when making a move on a stranger but rather a case where you are intimate with a person and she says no playfully. Because seriously who has never said no just to have the other one work a bit harder ? (Again, with someone you know, its ABSOLUTELY NOT THE SAME with a stranger).
The problem is a lot of relationships, especially super casual, "vanilla," or new relationships won't take the time or have the comfort level to establish a safe word. Established relationships have a bit of an added benefit of being able to read the subtle signals we send through tone and body language correctly.