I'm a master at it

If you knew how to spell, then you’d know that there’s no ‘master’ in ‘masturbating’. And if you’d wasted your college years double-majoring in Classics and Philosophy with dual minors in English and Gender Studies because some jackass hippie counselor told you to follow your passions instead of getting a STEM degree, then you’d know that ‘masturbate’ is likely some combination of the Latin ‘manus’ and ‘stupare’. Have you even opened a book this year? (P.S. The college major thing was just a hypothetical example to inspire our FunSubstance uni students to make intelligent decisions about their degrees and to drive the point home *cough*)

So they would be an amateurbater?

who cares... you have another human to do kinky shit with. Treasure that and appreciate you ain't gotta sniff butts for it like a bitch.

Then you can suck your own dick too