Okay but condoms break, sometimes people are told they're sterile or they had a vasecromy and that didn't work, or they were raised in a home with shitty sex ed. It's not always a case of " only irresponsible people end up with unplanned kids "and it's a bit high and mighty to think so.
As I proved in high school, you can go years without getting laid without consequence. I’m pro-choice, you can choose to be abstinent, you can choose one of 17 birth control methods; so many choices, so few legitimate excuses.
I'm really disappointed in the lack of birth control options for men. It's kinda a form of blackmail or at least an extreme imbalance of power. At any point the girl on birth control could stop taking the pill and get pregnant to essentially fuck the guy's life over for the next 18 years without any type of warning. Honestly, I don't understand people who claim that women are oppressed in America when they have such overwhelming privilige in pregnancy and children.
I heard about a pill that does this, but it's far from ready for release. Best case scenario it has a few years before being released - if it doesn't have major negative side effects or just isn't effective enough.
I've read multiple times about people trying to develop birth control for men, and almost everytime they've polled men, men have said they would not take birth control, either because they do not want to, or because it has side effects (similar to what women go through on their pills).
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Whether this information still holds true (the most recent article I read about it was from early this year), it's not exactly encouraging.
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As a side note-- while I do understand what you're saying about the pill, and have even warned some of my male friends to be goddamn careful when they've gotten with some sketchy women (I have a relative, which I only very grudgingly admit any genetic link to, who LOVES to use pregnancy as a form of entrapment..)-- do keep in mind that no one forces the guy to have sex with her without a condom. And anyone can poke holes in a condom, regardless of gender. As psychotic as it seems, I've seen cases of guys doing it, too
And, yes, the woman does (for now) have the right to get an abortion without his consent. But abortions are not an easy thing to go through. Some people end up extremely traumatized and live with shame and guilt for the rest of their days. Some can't handle it. Regardless of the outcome, his manipulation and sabotage have potentially fucked her over psychologically for the rest of her days.
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At the end of the day you have to be careful and look out for yourself, particularly when having sex with someone you're not sure you can trust completely. And even then.. Trust is trust, and at the end of the day it's just a decision to say "what happens now is up to this other person. Hope they don't fuck me over."
I don't like that argument. "He could have used a condom." That just implies that he has to be paranoid at all times. That if someone betrays him, then he's the idiot. That he has to always be on the alert because if something bad happens then it's his fault. That's the feeling I always seem to get from "He could have worn a condom!" To me, it's like saying "Yea, she got raped, but she could have just stayed home! It's kinda her fault."
And yes, I do see purposefully impregnating yourself against the will of the man to be a form of rape in a loose sense. They sexually violated him even if it's in a way that isn't usually seen as such. This of course goes both ways. If a guy impregnates a woman who didn't want to be, then it's just as bad. Disgustingly, the latter would be more easily seen as rape than the former. Consenting to sex and consenting to having a child are completely different.
I know you didn't say this. I just wanted to get my feelings on it out there.
I think maybe I worded that wrong. I wasn't trying to say it's his fault if he unwittingly has sex with a psychopath. Especially if you're in a long term relationship and you weren't aware the person you were with was a psychopath intending to force you into a hostage situation (call a spade a spade: forcing someone into pregnancy, male or female, is both a form of rape and a hostage situation. You're taking their life, and their child hostage. And they can never get away from that. Even if they end up adoring their baby, the intent is the same).
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I was just saying guys have options, they don't have to feel entirely reliant on taking a woman at her word. Tbh, if I was a guy, and the girl I was with I didn't know well at all, or I *did* know, but suddenly she's talking about babies all the time, I'd probably be thinking twice and then three times before not using a condom. There aren't always cues like that, obviously, but it doesn't hurt to be aware.
Just like it's not a victim's fault if they are raped, but I would never recommend leaving your drink unattended at a bar. If some monster from the crowd comes along and drugs it, is that their fault? No. Not even close. But monsters do exist, and I just would personally rather do what I can to avoid the situation in the first place.. Remembering the options available is never a bad thing
I don't care who you are, what your genital profile is, or how drunk you were, if you fuck someone you've not been in a serious relationship for a moderately long time without some form of physical barrier preventative you are a certified idiot. pregnancy isn't the only concern and trusting someone you don't know really well on that level is naive.
Sabotage is a slightly different pig to punch in that its almost always done to someone who is taking every possible precaution.
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Edited 5 years ago
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· 5 years ago
Maybe you thought you couldn't have kids because of a low sperm count or something. That would certainly be a surprise
Giving birth to a plasma TV would probably hurt more than a baby because of the size and angles... So there's a silver lining to unexpected babies after all!
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Whether this information still holds true (the most recent article I read about it was from early this year), it's not exactly encouraging.
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As a side note-- while I do understand what you're saying about the pill, and have even warned some of my male friends to be goddamn careful when they've gotten with some sketchy women (I have a relative, which I only very grudgingly admit any genetic link to, who LOVES to use pregnancy as a form of entrapment..)-- do keep in mind that no one forces the guy to have sex with her without a condom. And anyone can poke holes in a condom, regardless of gender. As psychotic as it seems, I've seen cases of guys doing it, too
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At the end of the day you have to be careful and look out for yourself, particularly when having sex with someone you're not sure you can trust completely. And even then.. Trust is trust, and at the end of the day it's just a decision to say "what happens now is up to this other person. Hope they don't fuck me over."
And yes, I do see purposefully impregnating yourself against the will of the man to be a form of rape in a loose sense. They sexually violated him even if it's in a way that isn't usually seen as such. This of course goes both ways. If a guy impregnates a woman who didn't want to be, then it's just as bad. Disgustingly, the latter would be more easily seen as rape than the former. Consenting to sex and consenting to having a child are completely different.
I know you didn't say this. I just wanted to get my feelings on it out there.
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I was just saying guys have options, they don't have to feel entirely reliant on taking a woman at her word. Tbh, if I was a guy, and the girl I was with I didn't know well at all, or I *did* know, but suddenly she's talking about babies all the time, I'd probably be thinking twice and then three times before not using a condom. There aren't always cues like that, obviously, but it doesn't hurt to be aware.
Sabotage is a slightly different pig to punch in that its almost always done to someone who is taking every possible precaution.