This is a hard concept for people to accept because of its effect on sense of self and the larger world. Hardship is relative. We generally accept that in cases such as comparing a child to an adult- but fail to factor that some adults are functionally less able than others. The same burden that can easily be carried by one or many may crush another. Likewise- you can only relate within your own frame of reference. “First world problems” are an example. Wether it’s your printer jamming or ypir family starving- the “worst” thing to ever happen to you is still the worst thing you know regardless of how objectively severe it is. In your life- that is your struggle that you know, and to you it may be relatively as much of a struggle as a “greater” struggle is to someone else. In fact- a person used to dealing with struggles has developed mechanisms and tools to do so, whereas a person who has not will lack those tools. Of course- continual perception of hardship of any sort can cause...
... trauma or fatigue- so it isn’t a “super power” not is it fair to say it is better to put hardship on someone used to it under the idea they will be able to handle it better. It’s more complex than all that- and gets down to individuals. However it is impossible to be intimately acquainted with every human on earth, and impractical for most to try. So as humans we use tools to help us understand our reality. Generalizations and broad groupings are one- another is to frame everything as though it were happening to us, and try to relate things to the closest parallel we have actually experienced as a way to gain perspective. The problem is that these tools for understanding reality often replace reality on our minds. We begin to see things as though the way they are in our perception is the only possible reality objectively. This causes problems because in order to hold on to our perception of reality and our sense of security in knowing our environment and it’s “rules,” we then...
... tend to force things to adhere to our perceptions of how they are “supposed to be” and not how they actually are. We ignore or edit and filter information, only looking at what supports that our perceptions are correct, and ignoring that which would threaten our fragile realities. Most people want to believe in some concept of justice, or some concept of order, to want to believe most of all that there are reasons. That we “deserve” what we have. People often can’t reconcile things like suffering or danger with their image of reality. It threatens our prosperity. Most people believe they are secure- by divine right, through a protection like a government or the strength of another, through their own strength or ability. When they see others going through hard times they feel vulnerable. The subconscious doesn’t want to admit that a mere “coin flip” of the universe separates their life from that of another. That it isn’t by some inherent virtue that they have any measure of...
.. happiness, and that there is more than nothing but chance separating them from
Tragedy. We like to believe in permanence. Hence the common fear or facisnation with death, and the wide spread beliefs of even the non religious in some form of “after life” or continuation. The idea that all that we have and love and are could disappear and there is nothing we can do about it- it’s too much for most, and indeed that feeling of powerlessness guides many. “If I have a gun a I have power. I can’t be robbed or raped. I can protect my family and valuables. I can fight a burglar or an army.” “I feel scared about the economy and loosing loosing what I have, of things changing and maybe I won’t like those changes. I will blame someone with even less power than me- that way I can feel like I have power over something, and I can feel less afraid because I have a blankie, a nightlight, a Wall...”
.... that is what it comes down to. You may notice that it is most often people “punching down?” The wealthy blame the middle class for not doing what they need to to be rich, the middle class blame the lower classes for their hardships, the lower classes blame immigrants or so on... because otherwise they’d have to confront the fact that it isn’t some special trait they have that is solely responsible, it isn’t their hard work alone which got them where they are. They see people suffer, and if those people are good worthy people like them- they’d be morally required to help. To help those people would mean giving up some of what they have, and they don’t want to do that, so it’s simpler to decide those people did it to themselves. Those people are inherently bad, lazy, dangerous, deserving of their fate or requiring to be kept at bay for theirs and everyone else’s good.....
So we come back to “oh- you think you have it bad...?” It’s defensive. It’s a psychological defense mechanism which we use to justify to ourselves and those present that we don’t have it on easy street. Few people feel good when someone is telling them how bad their life is to say “I’m actually very happy...” you likely wouldn’t stop someone talking about their dying parent to talk about how much you love your two healthy parents, and how you recently did XYZ fun things together and are looking forward to many more in the future would you? You feel bad for feeling good. By saying out loud that your life isn’t perfect- it justifies to the subconscious that you aren’t some powder puff and that you suffer and deserve happiness. It’s an idea that we must pay a price to reap anything or else we are skating by. You may have a good paying job and a loving family- but you went through a lot to get there and you put up with a lot because of it dangit! So this is primarily a defensive reaction..
"Oh god, somebody help me I've just been shot!"
"Oh really, you think you have it hard? I stubbed my toe this morning and it still hurts!"
"Please somebody call an ambulance!"
Thank you @lans
Tragedy. We like to believe in permanence. Hence the common fear or facisnation with death, and the wide spread beliefs of even the non religious in some form of “after life” or continuation. The idea that all that we have and love and are could disappear and there is nothing we can do about it- it’s too much for most, and indeed that feeling of powerlessness guides many. “If I have a gun a I have power. I can’t be robbed or raped. I can protect my family and valuables. I can fight a burglar or an army.” “I feel scared about the economy and loosing loosing what I have, of things changing and maybe I won’t like those changes. I will blame someone with even less power than me- that way I can feel like I have power over something, and I can feel less afraid because I have a blankie, a nightlight, a Wall...”
"Oh really, you think you have it hard? I stubbed my toe this morning and it still hurts!"
"Please somebody call an ambulance!"