The implication is somewhat clear. We can argue intent- but then it’s all semantics. Considering that they only posted statistics that support a conclusion towards men having the worst lot- I think it’s self evident the question is more rhetorical and biased than earnest.
Some very good points. Men DO face some challenges. There are certain biases against men. We certainly should seek to make things fair all around. But “oppressed?” By who? These statistics lack some important context- but if I go into all that we will be here all day. The majority of judges are men. The majority of police are men. The majority of law makers are men. The majority of politicians are men. We’ve never had a female President. Throughout the history of America the majority of people in power have been men- and past the present the majority of wealthy individuals are... men. The very framework of our society was built by men- and women back then literally had 0 involvement. Less than now.
I mention this because if one wants to make it a gendered issue- men are being oppressed by... men for... being men? It’s not oppression- it’s bias. Men get longer prison sentences because men decided women were less threatening- less able than them. Men have less shelters because men decided that a man can or should “take care of himself.” Men’s attitudes about what a “man should be” shape the treatment of men in society- a society who’s law makers and people in power are and have traditionally been men. Women are- even in law- coddled. “A man needs to protect a woman.”
The attitude is pervasive and speaks to his argument even if his conclusion is faulty. Sex with a 12 year old? If it’s a little girl- get the rope. If it’s a woman and a little boy? Meh. “Lucky kid. Wish my teacher looked like that and gave it to me...” if it’s a man with a little boy? Get the rope- and make sure it’s on fire. That’s a common male stance on rape. Drunk college student? If it’s a woman she’s a victim. If it’s a man he’s... a guy. Drunk or not of course he wanted it.
Going to family court? Chances are.... mom
Gets the kids. “Moms make better parents...” “children need a mothers love...” time for support? “Pay up dad. You can’t live on that? Get a better job. Be a man...”
And people say- people froth- “there is no toxic masculinity!” Yes. Yes there is. This guy is LITERALLY talking about toxic masculinity- except he’s framing it as some sort of “oppression” imposed upon men... by whom? Not women. It’s men who are projecting what they expect based on their self image of “being a man” into other men. It’s men who make and enforce and uphold laws and cultural values that fundamentally treat women as less than. The man gets the bad deal because society and law have said he’s smart. When he commits a crime he knew what he was doing and was capable. He’s a threat. He’s strong- he can take it. It takes more punishment to “break” a man than a “weak” woman.
He’s capable. He will make ends meet. He can take on another job, get a promotion, he’s a man and he’ll do whatever he has to do to make his responsibilities- and when a man is perceived as not meeting this standard- when he’s “weak” a “deadbeat dad,” when he is seen as failing to “do whatever it takes to be responsible..” we punish him more for it because he’s a man. Because as a man he should do better, know better. And if he won’t “be a man” the law is going to force him into hardship and “teach him what it means to be a man.”
He’s a victim? “No. He’s a man. If he’s being abused he needs to speak up. He needs to set that woman straight.” Of course. But a woman being abused by a man? What chance does that poor mousey weak creature have? A woman “tricked” by the “superior cunning” of the “dominant male predator,” she’s a victim. She needs protected by a big strong law man.
*to be clear this is sarcastic. Societies attitudes about men and women- not my opinions.
So that’s how society views these things. That’s the standard men good other men to. Men aren’t “oppressed” in our society. Men control society and always have in our recorded history more or less. Men are victims of their outlook on gender roles. To change that- men need to change their views on what “men” and “women” are and what their roles are.
I am not sure about some of these statistics, but the shelters statistic is wrong. On a couple different levels actually. 1. There are many shelters which are gender neutral. 2. There are shelters for just men, more than just one shelter. 3. By framing the issue in terms of shelters you miss the mark on the real issue. The real issue is, women often have greater access to help than men do. And this rarely boils down to resources specifically only being available to women. Usually this is a issue of bias. A burly looking dude comes in to a place where help should be available and the people who work their are likely to believe he is a problem before he even opens his mouth. Especially if he has learned to hide his pain behind a tough exterior. Men actually face the same issue when calling the cops on their wives. This is part of some deeply rooted sexism, and I firmly believe that working towards equality on both sides is the only way to see real long term progress in this regard.
@guest_ touched on some really good points already. I do want to argue on the point that men impose these views. Not because its false but because it is incomplete. Society at large pushes these views. I have definitely since women push these believes too. It's something we as a society need to work on.
I have my own example that I think most of us can actually envision ourselves in. You come across a woman, she is hurt, she doesn't want to go to the hospital, she doesn't want to go to the cops. She insists she is fine when she clearly is not fine. I am going to guess a majority of people will assume she is a victim of abuse. I paint the same situation with a man instead of a woman. If this is presented outside a discussion about abuse and gender discrimination most people would probably assume he is a criminal. I know that's what I would probably think.
And that is still an example of the deeply rooted issues with gender biases.
I by and large agree- and yes. It’s a more complex social issue. As long as my post was I figured I’d cut it down and not get into the dynamic of women on the equation- and figured since the OP chose to only focus on things from a male centric view that I might do the same. There’s a bit of chicken and egg over what social attitudes about gender were imparted on men to suit the desires of women and which were imparted on women from a male dominated society where the legal, social, and often physical ability to enforce desired gender norms classically existed largely in the hands of men. Then we get into complex issues about the complacency of women in accepting subservient gender roles in past society (if any etc...) and that’s a can of worms I just didn’t want to touch. Lol. But I do agree that women can and do participate in and propagate certain elements of bias in gender perceptions.
I mean- a woman may feel “safe” to express certain thoughts or to behave or be in the presence of certain behaviors with another woman but feel threatened or uncomfortable in the same situation with a man. A major hurdle to things like cooed bathrooms or locker rooms or changing rooms for instance has classically been more about putting men with women and women’s perceptions about being in those situations around men. But the jury isn’t in necessarily- as we can demonstrate statistical evidence that such fears are based in a real world higher potential risk or damage to women... so is it a case where women are inherently seeing men as threats and aggressors etc- or where women have every logical reason to fear a demonstrated threat?
Maybe a little of both. Men AND women tend to find it funny or distasteful for men to wear “women’s”clothes- but women can wear “male” clothes like pants or the like and it’s ok. Because BOTH men and women see a man in “female” dress as debasing himself to the “level of a female” whereas a woman is “elevating herself” to the level of a male. We can SAY it’s just because it’s uncommon to see a man in such garb- but even in cultures where males wear “dress” like clothes wearing an actual western woman’s dress still carries a unique response compared to western men’s wear that is equally uncommon. What’s more- we do have a perception of something like a pantsuit as more “authoritative” or formal or “less feminine” than a similarly situationally appropriate skirt, dress, etc.
As many professionals and other women as well as hard data can confirm- simply adhering to a more “traditionally feminine” style of dress can reduce the perceived competence, authority, professionalism, intelligence, etc. of a woman or man. It makes a person seem “less threatening” in general. As a society we all contribute to ideas of gender roles and to bias. In 2019 women have more rights, voice, representation, and freedom of choice to shape and influence society than the past- so we can’t discount women when discussing modern eras- with women having more ability to contribute directly to society as we approach 2019 on the timeline from eras where women were both more repressed and less present to participate in general society or many influential aspects and circles of it.
So women play a part too- and a primary motivator for heterosexual males (the majority of males through most of history-) is to attract females, so male behavior to an extent in any society where any level of choice or autonomy exists for women does tend to have male gender roles shaped by that which tends to be most successful in the acquisition and or retention of female favor. But that female favor is also shaped by what is most beneficial tor desirable to the general female populace based on the social constraints of that society- thus in a male dominant society the wants of the female are still influenced by the edicts of the male... and we go back in a circle! Ha ha. But certainly we can agree that females play some part in the equation and especially in the present have the ability to help define gender roles and perceptions through conciliatory awareness and self awareness.
I don't know the figures for the US but here in Australia, homicide of a woman is 94% likely to be a domestic partner. Homicide of a man is 16% likely to be a domestic partner, including a male partner.
Gets the kids. “Moms make better parents...” “children need a mothers love...” time for support? “Pay up dad. You can’t live on that? Get a better job. Be a man...”
*to be clear this is sarcastic. Societies attitudes about men and women- not my opinions.
I have my own example that I think most of us can actually envision ourselves in. You come across a woman, she is hurt, she doesn't want to go to the hospital, she doesn't want to go to the cops. She insists she is fine when she clearly is not fine. I am going to guess a majority of people will assume she is a victim of abuse. I paint the same situation with a man instead of a woman. If this is presented outside a discussion about abuse and gender discrimination most people would probably assume he is a criminal. I know that's what I would probably think.
And that is still an example of the deeply rooted issues with gender biases.