Or perhaps the problem isn't the absent father so much as the economic problems and social stigma that follows from growing up in a single income household with a mother working through abandonment issues?
Background; My dad ran off when I was 7 and left the family DEEP in debt. The solution was not for that deadbeat POS to come back but for him to stay as far away as possible, a little support from family and society would've been nice to. Thing is, our culture is so hung up on biological family being important that people spent decades trying to reunite me with my "dad" when neither of us wanted it. This played a large part in keeping me, my sister and our mom from moving on. Instead we got this deadbeat back in our lives occasionally to fuck us up all over again.
If a divorced dad wants to have a good relationship with his kids, by all means, encourage that. But if he's a deadbeat POS who fucks his kids up then lock him up and make the bastard pay back every cent he stole.
I don't know who downvoted you, your point is legit. Although it probably doesn't represent the majority of cases.
Funnily, I read an article a few days ago that doesn't reach the same conclusions than the post. More than 100 studies from several countries had been compiled and it showed that compared to kids from 2moms or 2 dads or 1mom-1dad families, kids from 1mom-only families did better in anxiety management, a little bit less good in the mental health area, but the disparities were not significant.
If her source is legit, it might show a big disparity from one country to another and so probably in some places a social problem like you pointed out.
Yeah. That’s a real problem in society. Everyone always talking about how great it is when dads disappear or knock a woman up and then don’t see their child or pay for its upkeep. I wonder if anyone has ever done studies on this? Like maybe boys AND girls are somehow effected by having absentee fathers? Perhaps there are even certain psychological repercussions? Maybe we should also work on getting therapists educated so they can be aware of this issue they’ve probably never seen or just assumed was something else? If only as a society we could value men more. We obviously can’t force fathers to spend time with their children- but perhaps we could at least have some types of laws enforcing financial responsibility and allocating certain parental rights? Surely that could at least help?
What really needs to happen is that people who aren’t fit to be parents, male, female, robot whatever, needs to stop procreating. But the world isn’t perfect
lol. On some level o agree with you. Even the idea of some sort of licensing for parents- maybe sterilizing fetuses at a genetic level or something- which can be reversed later in life or some other technological solution to prevent unauthorized pregnancy. Of course- I don’t advocate it because asides being an affront go individual liberty and perhaps even humanity- the whole thing is rife for abuse, bias, horrors and genocides and class wars and corruption.
I mean- the old saying is “if you wait to be ready to have kids, you’ll never have kids” and it’s kinda true. I know people who are literal multimillionaires who struggle and say “I don’t know how anyone who makes less affords kids....” Who’s standards do we use to determine who is fit or ready? How do we plan for abstracts and unknowns like the emotional suitability of parents? And really- I don’t know any parent that if someone saw at just the right moment they’d look like a terrible parent. So I can get on board with the theoretical idea that it would solve a lot of problems- but man. It would create more and could potentially be a literal dystopian nightmare.
I just meant take it into your own hands to determine if you’re fit to be a parent or not. Neither of mine wanted more children yet they had us (well to be fair my mother didn’t want any and my father wanted a son so 50/50 on that and the minute I was born as his daughter I had two parents that didn’t want me) and they ended up being terrible parents. That’s what I mean by people who aren’t fit to have kids. I think “wanting kids” should be at the top of that list. More access to birth control, society not pushing every couple to have kids and ostracizing those who don’t cause it’s not normal by their standards - things like that need to happen
Oh yeah. I’d agree that access to birth control and ending BOTH the push to have more kids and a socioeconomic system that requires exponential population growth to sustain itself are good measures and are philosophically more in line with the way is like to see things go. People like toys though, and we tend to throw technology at social problems because it is much easier to let google or whoever do the hard thinking and just write a check- presuming you have money of course.
I do believe, now that you’ve mentioned, that I recall your parents coming up in past threads. I’m sorry to hear it still though. No parents are perfect but there is at least a base line of caring children deserve and a minimum standard below which “doing the best with wha you have” shouldn’t be acceptable.
For her part my mother would have preferred I be born a daughter. It’s already a reality for some parents but perhaps someday choosing your child’s gender will be the norm. I somewhat hope not- but who knows. My experience with technology and corporate/government structure is if you say you just want to be able to access your email from your phone they’ll build a cyborg assistant to follow you around everywhere and track your productivity and do 59 things you never asked for- and you’re email will stop working completely.
Hahahaha I think the whole world would slightly become unbalanced gender-wise if that was allowed. I would love to have had a dad that just was a little miffed I was a girl but he’s a very mentally and physically abusive person and so was my mum unfortunately. It went way below a standard of caring at that point which is why I’m so annoyed by people having kids when they should be having abortions. Yes fully understanding that I’m saying that I would’ve rather never been born at all over having been born to them. Also no idea who’s downvoting you
I don’t worry about the downvotes. Sad and silent- it’s all they have so if it makes them feel better then it’s the least I can do. I understand what you’re saying. I don’t advocate such things- I could see them coming. China, thanks to cultural values and the one child policy already faces its own gender imbalance issues. India also has a huge gender imbalance. The overall impact on population numbers doesn’t seem to be too great- but there are cultural and personal issues- women being a more extreme minority face challenges and finding a female partner becomes more difficult.
I’m sorry your parents were so ill suited to the task. I can certainly understand the effects of that and experience. No one should have to go through that- so I agree that we need to try to protect children and impress the significance and difficulty of parenting on society. At the same time- I’d rather be alive and go through my childhood than never have been born- good and bad it helped make me who I am. If I was never born though- I wouldn’t care or have a say either way so ultimately I don’t think it’s too worth considering the whole “but so and so would never be born...” and yet... the world would have still been fine. So I guess that part just is what it is.
I'm sure is hard fod the single mom and the kid. Thankfully, I married a wonderful man that never met his father, but had a great singke mom. I am thankful that my mother in law gave him a great education at home, and although he thinks she was too tough on him, he is a gentleman, a great son, a great husband thay is not afraid of independent women, and I know he will be a great father. So shout out to great single moms!
Based on this tweet alone, the issue doesn’t seem to be that men are not valued enough, but more that single mothers aren’t. Maybe the solution is to provide more support for mothers, and teach men to be more accountable for their children.
Background; My dad ran off when I was 7 and left the family DEEP in debt. The solution was not for that deadbeat POS to come back but for him to stay as far away as possible, a little support from family and society would've been nice to. Thing is, our culture is so hung up on biological family being important that people spent decades trying to reunite me with my "dad" when neither of us wanted it. This played a large part in keeping me, my sister and our mom from moving on. Instead we got this deadbeat back in our lives occasionally to fuck us up all over again.
If a divorced dad wants to have a good relationship with his kids, by all means, encourage that. But if he's a deadbeat POS who fucks his kids up then lock him up and make the bastard pay back every cent he stole.
Funnily, I read an article a few days ago that doesn't reach the same conclusions than the post. More than 100 studies from several countries had been compiled and it showed that compared to kids from 2moms or 2 dads or 1mom-1dad families, kids from 1mom-only families did better in anxiety management, a little bit less good in the mental health area, but the disparities were not significant.
If her source is legit, it might show a big disparity from one country to another and so probably in some places a social problem like you pointed out.