Not a bot post just trying to be anonymous

Well the first thing to do is talk about it
To somebody who actually listens
There are plenty of people here who'll do that
My email is on my profile, hit me up

I have PTSD. There have been times where I felt I could handle things on my own, but inevitably I would go though some kind of melt down. Sometimes it can take years before I break, sometimes it takes months... but it always happens.
Please get some help, it is the only thing that can keep your breaks from spiraling.

The thing with past trauma is you do not have to remember it for it to affect you. Something can be 1% similar to a bad experience you had and your brain flicks the switch to fight or flight mode. Do not feel guilty for your reaction, it's your brain trying to keep you safe and trying to tell you something is wrong. PLEASE talk to a professional about it, even if you don't remember the actual event they can provide coping mechanisms and possible medications to help you, it's not something to be ashamed about and it's best to get help as soon as possible. I'm here to talk if you would like an ear or advice but no one is better than a licensed professional. The right thing to do was reach out.

PTSD is insidious. It seeps into your life and impacts you in ways you don’t expect. That’s especially hard when you don’t really remember what happened. But your flashbacks are real, and there’s some good studies out there that show that the memories in flash backs are often more accurate than things that were remembered all along. Your brain isn’t trying to trick you, and you aren’t making it up.
As Parisqueen said, professional can help a lot. PTSD impacts your life in a lot of ways, many of which you may not yet realize.
If you can’t get to a specialist right now, there are anonymous online chat forums that you can help. A couple examples: isurvive [dot] org // aftersilence [dot] org
These are supportive communities that can help you work through some of the things that are plaguing you.
Thanks for having the courage to reach out. You aren’t alone.

I'm not a psychologist or anything but I bet you subconsciously repressed the memories of when that happened, I know our words aren't much to actually help but I really hope you get this sorted out and get to feeling better.