How? I mean like did you accidentally bumped your nuts against the corner of the table again? Or the occasional I dropped something on it kind of thing? Lul.
Tables and chairs are common. Or sometimes I like to try and flail-catch a softball and have it completely miss my mit and hit me square in the applebags.
,
The worst one was in middle school. I was on a fishing trip with my church group and my dad was a chaperone. He let me use his favorite fishing lure, but told me that I could not lose it under any circumstances. So..
,
I saw my crush and some of her friends on the bridge so I went and showed off the lure. No one cared, so I decided to cast from there. I swung for all I was worth, and the lure sailed up and out...and promptly got tangled way up in a pine tree. I yanked the line right away and it broke, with the lure still up there. Everyone saw, and now I had their attention. They knew I was dead if I didn't get that stupid lure.
,
I hiked off the bridge and down to the base of the tree. I climbed up in record time. Toward the top, it started getting scary because the branches were weirdly brittle.
I made it to the lure though. A larger group had gathered on the bridge, watching this go down. They helped me find the exact branch. I wrapped my hand around it right when the branch I was standing on gave way with no warning *CRACK*
,
I tried to stop myself but another, bigger branch hit me square in the aggots like a baseball bat *CRACK*
,
I had enough momentum to break that one with my poor, abused bollocks only to be hit with the next one and the next one, and on and on *crackcrackcrackcrackcrack* down the tree of pain. My feet finally hit the muddy creekside. My legs had been spread open ridiculously wide. I looked up to the bridge, hoping no one had noticed. It was very quiet. Everyone was staring at me, wide-eyed. The whole side of the tree had no branches on it except what was wedged between my poor legs.
,
My crush asked, "...Are you okay?" and I brightly replied, "YEP :'D"
,
After another moment of silence, everyone started laughing.
I had to rock back and forth to get try and get enough momentum to swing my leg over the branches. Unfortunately, they were spring loaded and held down by my weight, so as soon as I tried, they launched me in to the creek.
,
I never did recover my dad's lure but after he heard what I went through from everyone in the bridge, he decided I had gone through enough, so I didn't get in trouble lol
It's all good, haha I like sharing episodes of My Ridiculous Life.
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· 4 years ago
1) Great story, thanks for sharing!
2) I would be willing to bet nearly every male manages to whack himself in the nuts at some point before turning 18 if not sooner, it just happens
Sorry, I literally have tears running down my face from laughing!
1
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· 4 years ago
Once I was swinging a belt around (as dipshit kids do). Whipped myself right in the dick. I was on the floor cradling my family jewels for a good 15 minutes, all the while giving out pained grunts.
,
I mean, I'm super clumsy so maybe it's just a me thing..
,
The worst one was in middle school. I was on a fishing trip with my church group and my dad was a chaperone. He let me use his favorite fishing lure, but told me that I could not lose it under any circumstances. So..
,
I saw my crush and some of her friends on the bridge so I went and showed off the lure. No one cared, so I decided to cast from there. I swung for all I was worth, and the lure sailed up and out...and promptly got tangled way up in a pine tree. I yanked the line right away and it broke, with the lure still up there. Everyone saw, and now I had their attention. They knew I was dead if I didn't get that stupid lure.
,
I hiked off the bridge and down to the base of the tree. I climbed up in record time. Toward the top, it started getting scary because the branches were weirdly brittle.
,
I tried to stop myself but another, bigger branch hit me square in the aggots like a baseball bat *CRACK*
,
I had enough momentum to break that one with my poor, abused bollocks only to be hit with the next one and the next one, and on and on *crackcrackcrackcrackcrack* down the tree of pain. My feet finally hit the muddy creekside. My legs had been spread open ridiculously wide. I looked up to the bridge, hoping no one had noticed. It was very quiet. Everyone was staring at me, wide-eyed. The whole side of the tree had no branches on it except what was wedged between my poor legs.
,
My crush asked, "...Are you okay?" and I brightly replied, "YEP :'D"
,
After another moment of silence, everyone started laughing.
,
I never did recover my dad's lure but after he heard what I went through from everyone in the bridge, he decided I had gone through enough, so I didn't get in trouble lol
2) I would be willing to bet nearly every male manages to whack himself in the nuts at some point before turning 18 if not sooner, it just happens